Tuesday, July 17, 2007

NEXT?

I am soooooooooo happy and relieved to report that Mama's surgery was successful.  She will remain in the hospital for a bit to recuperate from the operation and await the results of the tests that will determine whether or not she will need to undergo chemo or any other additional treatments.  I hope that this marks the end of her hardship, but I am confident that if there are still obstacles that must be dealt with, she will handle them all in stride, on her own terms and in her own time, as usual, and not before she has all of her ducks in a row, of course.

I got the news from my sister and father yesterday afternoon and it was my signal to finally break down.  I sat in the store parking lot and had a much needed cry.  People passing by seemed concerned by my mascara streaked face but I smiled happily and waved them on.  They were happy tears, tears of pent up stress and relief.  I felt as if the weight of the world had suddenly been lifted from my shoulders.  Needless to say I went to bed early and slept very well.

Zachary finished his first day of work in Florida today.  He finished off the welds made by his co-workers, nothing new to him since he did the same kind of thing in shop class.  He's staying in an apartment with another worker.  Its big and roomy.  He has no computer or game system to play with but he doesn't seem to mind yet.  I asked if he had any regrets yet, any 'Oh no, what have I gotten myself into?'  thoughts.  Nope, not yet.

Good!  Because I was having some major guilt trips wondering what I had done to my boy, shipping him off across the country with no friends or relatives nearby, to work and live with strangers, and our nearest contact about 80 miles away.  Sometimes I think its not so much about whether the child is ready to leave the nest as it is about the parent being ready to let the child venture out on his own.  I knew it would be hard to let Zack go, although the circumstances were better than when Gabe left for boot camp.  But Zack is my gentle son, my sensitive one, the shy one.

Yeah, right!  Zack, my gentle sensitive shy son who promised to call once he got settled in but forgot and was eating steak and having a good ole time while his poor old mama sat back at home clear across the country in her granny nightie, worrying her gray hair even whiter listening to the phone not ringing.... Dang Oompa

Ugh, this is just day two.  Only 58 days to go.  I know, I know... he'll be 20 tomorrow.  He's old enough to take care of himself.  But you have to understand.  I'm only 46, I'm not ready to not be his ever present mama.  Oh well, I suppose its time to start smothering the other Oompas with all this left over loving. 

Before I sign off though, I'd like to thank everyone who came by and left such wonderful, caring messages and said prayers for Mama.  It was so reassuring to read them.  I felt so helpless here so far away from where I felt I needed to be but I never felt so supported and loved, a feeling that can only be compared to the support I received here while Gabe was in Iraq.  I could sit here tapping on the keyboard for hours and never find the words to express the gratitude and affection I have for you all.  People tease me about my Dust Bunny family all the time.  When something of any significance (and occasionally things of absolutely no significance) happen, they'll ask if I'm going to blog about it.  Why yes, yes I am, because I just have to tell my family, and not just my blood family but my extended family as well.  I don't want to say 'cyber family', because that is so impersonal and this has become so much more than that.  No, you are all a part of my Dust Bunny Family, little fuzzy friends who just pop up from all over the place and yet are each so individually endearing to me and my own family here in the dusty old house of Oompas.

Thank you so very much, 

Love Dorn~ (Jody)

22 comments:

cmarlow330 said...

JO,

I actually sat and cried yesterday reading your cancer entry about your mom. I am so glad that she is better and back to normal hopefully!

I just found out a friend I talk to on Yahoo he is 18 and in New York and has Testicular cancer and has 6 months to live.

I am worried about my own mother. She hasnt had her check up Colonospy yet.. She had one down, and had pollups removed but there was 1 they couldnt remove and she hasnt found the time or money to go back and have it checked back out again! So I worry about that everyday.

But... I am glad all is well for you now!

And you know if you need me, you know where I am !

XOXOXOX,
CHRISTOPHER

http://journals.aol.com/cmarlow330/ChristophersJournal/



swmpgrly said...

Im so glad things went well.

redpoppy007 said...

I am so sorry.
Hugs.

princesssaurora said...

Yay!!!  Wonderful news!!!!  I like being a dust bunny!  What a great thing to be!  Yes, you are right, it is like a family... my family kids me too!  I call you my J-landers... lol  Kind of like Highlanders but no sword and kilts... LOL  

Please keep us posted on all the developments with mom, and with Zach too!  Prayers for you, mom and all.... as always...

be well,
Dawn

amy122389 said...

Yay, Mama!  I bet she's getting feisty with those male nurses as we speak.  ::giggle::

Considering I have so many dang pets, I'm one of the furrier members of the Dust Bunny family.  hee hee....

~Amy

deshelestraci said...

I'm so glad your mom is doing so well!  What a relief I'm sure!  And Zach being gone has to be odd.  I'm not looking forward to the day when my little darlings are gone.  My three year old tells me she will be with me forever.  So sweet.
Traci

mpnaz58 said...

Glad your mama is doing good.  Her positive attitude and accepting nature will help her through this time.  One of the best things we can do for our kids, is let them go.  We've done what we can, the rest is up to them.  You must be so proud of all your Oompas!!
xoxo ~Myra

tendernoggle said...

I am so happy that it is good news with your mama's surgery....I know you are relieved now that it is over. God bless and keep you,
love ya,
carlene

pixiedustnme said...

That is such good news!  (but pardon me while i continue chuckling at the thought of you sitting around waiting for the phone to ring.....KIDS!)  I always knew I was a dust bunny, but it feels different to hear it out loud! :-)

coelha said...

Yeah!!!  I'm so happy to hear your mom's sugery went so well!!  :)  Hugs to you -  Julie :)

sdoscher458 said...

(((Dorn))) Next indeed. Life never seems to stop throwing things at us. I'm so glad that your Mom came through the surgery well, praying for a speedy recovery for her. I wish to God we could find a cure for all cancer, got to hope thats just around the corner.  What I said last time still goes, if the need arises just email me we are right here in lovely sunny Florida. Try to relax abit you've been through a heck of a week...love, Sandi

lazarai said...

That's AWESOME news, Dorn...I'm so relieved for you AND your mom....oh and ALL the extended Dust Bunny clan, too.

What part of Florida is Zack in? I'm here in the Tampa Bay area - Seminole, to be exact - 2 miles from the Gulf of Mexico, midway between St. Petersburg and Clearwater. If he's anywhere nearby, I'd love to feed him a homemade dinner and have him over for a swim in our pool!! Just say the word....

Hugs to you and yours,
:) Carol

chat2missie said...

I'm glad your Mama's surgery was successful.  I feel the same way about J-land as you do.  Family!!
Missie

astaryth said...

Good news about your Mama! And where is Zach exactly? We are between Gainseville and Ocala. Would love to help him find his way around if he needs anything if he is close by. I also have lived in the Orland and Tampa areas.......

mumma4evr said...

great news on your Mom!!!
Becky

ceilisundancer said...

Dust Bunny Family:)  Cute.
Glad to hear that your mother's surgery was successful.  What a relief indeed.  I'm really really glad.  (And, ironically, I wrote a post titled "next" the same day you did.)  -- Robin

jckfrstross said...

so glad all went well praying for  all

Deb

rdautumnsage said...


Wonderful news about your Mom dear heart. I will continue to keep her in my prayers on the smoke that this may indeed be the end of it. Wait till it's Zack's turn to worry over one of his own kids, you will get to say now you know what you put me through (winks). (Hugs) Indigo

midwestvintage said...

 I am so glad your mom is OK and Zach is settled and doing well.  Now I will let you go back to smothering your other Oompas with love.

               Julie

helmswondermom said...

I was so glad to hear that the surgery went well, and I hope your Mom is getting all the rest and care that she can take.  Take care, and just add a few more feet to those apron strings; no need to totally cut them yet.
Lori

lacaza3 said...

Glad your mama is doing well.. I bawled when my son graduated in 2000 when he got married lst year....he ask me why I was crying an dI said happy tears....
i kind of lied a little <wink>
donna In TEXAS
sweepingthecobwebsofmymind

tkelliher617 said...

Hi Dorn,
I have been behind on my journal reading so I did not know what was going on.  Im so glad to hear you mom is doing good.  God Bless!
Tabatha