PLAYING CATCH-UP.

The Trans Siberian Concert Wednesday night was excellent!  They had a spectacular light show to enhance an already outstanding musical show, complete with pyro-technics....  They saved the fire show til the last, which was good because the smoke got a little thick at the finale.  It was a 2 and a half hour show... with no intermission, just a brief period when introductions were being made then on with the show.  I think that was probably the longest my kids had ever sat together without fighting!  For those who are not familiar with the Trans Siberian Orchestra, they are more of a rock band doing their adaptation of some classical music...  And they include symphonic and orchestra instuments.  The young woman on the electric violin was awesome, especially when she dueled with the electric guitar player.  And the vocals.... oh my gosh the vocals!  There are some very big voices singing with the group, and they are spectacular!  If you have a chance to see them perform, do it!  And take the kids if you can afford it, its definately something the whole family will enjoy.

 I've been under the weather lately, or should I say 'over the throne' thanks to the Virus de jour.  I surely must be wearing a permanent imprint of my toilet seat on my derriere by now.  5 pounds folks, I lost 5 pounds, thus proving that my Miracle Weight Loss Program does work, I just don't recommend this particular method cos my bum hurts and so does my innerds!  I learned real quick how to do the Peptol Bismol Boogie ("Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea... Yeah! Pepto-Bismol!") 

Dickidoo is going to be real mad at me when he wakes up.  He kept making these weird noises while he was sleeping and I kept waking him up because I thought he was going to be sick or something.  Finally he yelled 'I'm OK!'.  I decided to sleep downstairs on the couch for 2 reasons.... First... if he DID get sick, I didn't want him to get sick on me.  And secondly, he probably would have killed me if I woke him up again.    That was scary though... we've been sleeping together for over 20 years now and I've NEVER heard him make that noise before.  I was actually relieved when he yelled at me, at least I knew he was alive!  Needless to say I'm letting him sleep in this morning.  Maybe he will forget the interruptions.

Joke of the day:
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. 
  Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

 (thank you for the joke PurpleCTigger!) 

REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR

I posted these two pictures on my photoblog, but I thought this would be an appropriate time to post them here, in observance of anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor.  Thats Gabe and my dad, who retired to my mom's homestate of Hawaii after 20+ years in the Navy.  As a teenager I lived just minutes away from Pearl Harbor, and we could see it from our back yard.  I remember the very first time I ever cut out of school was to go to the Arizona Memorial with my brother.  For some reason it had become very important for us to go to the memorial and when we heard that the tour was free we decided to risk getting caught and we didn't get off the bus when it passed the high school.

If you've never been to the Memorial it would be hard for me to explain the emotions that swell up when you step onto the memorial.  Its a simple and yet beautiful structure built over the wreckage of the battleship.  Looking over the side you can see parts of the ship under water, and if you look carefully you can even see oil droplets floating up from below.  I thought of them as tears from the battleship for her crew.  Did you know that over 900 crewmembers are still entombed underwater in the wreckage?  While the dark tears rose from the ship below, my tears fell down to meet them.  I've been to the memorial dozens of times, and I cry each and every time.  The last time I went was two summers ago, with my own children.  And yes, I cried again. 

MY BOY'S PICTURE!

This is my first picture of Gabe in his uniform, I just got it in the mail today.  I have to say it suits him.  He's starting to look more and more like his father now.  When he left I told him.... 'Don't look so serious when you take your picture, everyone always looks either mad or scared in their pictures from basic, try to look nice cos we'll be showing this to everyone for years to come!'  I think he took a very nice picture, but then I'm his mom... ALL of his pictures are going to look nice to me!

BRONCOS and the school dash.

Tis a sad day in Bronco Country.  They've all but lost their chances at the play-offs and the Super Bowl.  BUT its not over until its over, and IT AIN'T OVER YET!

My kids are running around getting ready for school right all, all except for Zack that is.  I woke him up 40 minutes ago, I opened his door, greeted him in my best 'GET UP!' mommy voice, and switched on the light.  I just checked on him... that boy had gotten up, switched the light OFF and climbed back into bed!  He now has exactly 13 minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast and leave for school!  Now, if he were like ME as a teenager, he would have gotten dressed in his school clothes before he climbed into bed last night so's all he would have had to do was to get up, use the bathroom, brush the teeth and hair, grab some breakfast and run... 5 minutes tops!

MEET THE DIDDL'S

I shouldn't really be on right now, I'm supposed to getting ready for work, but I just wanted to share these with you... thats Diddl and his friends, aren't they cute?  I found them while poking around in some German graphic sites.  I could barely understand anything, but when I saw these guys I just fell in love with them.  One of the sites I clicked on had an English link, which I have posted on my Favorite Sites column, go on, take a peek, you'll love them!   Okay, now I'm off before Dickidoo shows up behind me and makes that annoying 'click, click' sound he makes just to irritate me when he thinks I've been on the computer too long....

We got a call from Gabe this morning, what a wonderful wake-up call.  He was so excited because he got to shoot the big guns.... and he got to watch a claymore explode.  Hmmmmm.... okay, he used to work in a boobie bar and got to watch beautiful girls dance neked... and he gave it up so he could do what?  Aye ya yah!  Kids, boys, MEN!  I'll never understand them!  Well, 2 more weeks and he'll be home for a bit.  Then he'll be back in training until the end of February, and from there who knows!  So I'll take what I can get.  I guess there's a good chance he'll get stationed back here at Carson.  Poor kid probably joined to get away from his parents... and now he may be working right down the street from us!  Hahahahahahaha!

RUNS IN THE FAMILY

I just got the cutest email from one of my favorite people in the whole world, my oldest sister.  I'm including part of it and I'll let you all decide if its genetic or not!

 

1. Why do farts stink?  So deaf people can enjoy them too.

2. In case of emergency, find an out-of-the way place and fart - someone will most certainly appear out of nowhere.

3. Never ask me if I farted. If you had to ask, it      definitely wasn't me.  

Something NOT to do:  If your'e wearing a night gown and no undies, don't bend over.  When you stand up, you'll have a major wedgie. 

SAD TIMES AHEAD

I've been feeling very vulnerable lately.  I just read a poem in SmarypantsJessie's Journal, and it just got me to bawling.  This was my comment to her:

<My son is in Basic, he's learning to be a soldier.  He wrote home one day and said 'Mom, I officially know how to kill a man'.  What a horrific skill that a 20 year old should have to learn.  But it may save his life, or the life of a buddy and so I write back...'Thats good', and I sealed the letter with tears.  >

I should be shopping for 'Baby's 1st Christmas' stuff.  I should be shopping for my grandbaby.  I'm almost in tears when I pass by the infant department at work.  I wondered if it were possible for my heart to hurt any more than it did when my son enlisted as a Calvary scout.  Yes, yes it is possible for my heart to hurt more.  I think it is breaking.  I pray, Lord I pray that my grandbaby has been given the opportunity of life, it should be born on or around Christmas eve.  The not knowing is devasting.  I think my son would make an awesome father if given the opportunity.  I know I would make a wonderful grandmother if given the opportunity... but that is beside the point.  I know my grandbaby would make a wonderful person if given the opportunity.  Please... please give it the opportunity!  Sadly the only person who can make that happen is far away and will never hear or read these words.

Needless to say my mood has been very subdued lately, and getting worse by the day.  Yesterday when I climbed into the car after lunch I saw a huge bird dropping on the windshield.  Great!  Just what I needed!  In my disgust I switched on the wipers to clean it off... NO, WAIT!  I need the spray!  Too late!  That bird-doo was smeared all over the windshield in a perfect arch!  I hit the spray button, which was of little use by then since the stuffwas smeared all over the wiper blade!  People were laughing at me from their cars as I drove down the road with my wipers going, my sprayer going, and an ever darkening rainbow of bird stuff smeared across the windshield!  Pooh off, pooh on, pooh off, pooh on!  Yeah people!  Have a nice day!  I hope a flock of geese do the Pepto Bismol Boogie over your car next!

DUST BUNNY HIGHLIGHTS July 2004

* I am Okinawan.... I am only Indian by injection.

* 'Boobidoo', which is when your stomach sticks out farther than your boobies do!

* The life span of a dust bunny depends on the enviroment.  For instance, a common dust bunny that inhabits my house thrives and tends to have a longer life span than one that would dwell in my sister's house.

*  "My butt hurts, kiss it better?" 

*  'Hi Mom, whats for supper?'  I almost reply 'fingernails, boogers and spit', but the neighbors are out and I don't want them to think that I feed my kids the same thing EVERY night. 

*  This morning I was in the girls bathroom and found myself having to duckwalk around the bathroom looking for scraps on the discarded cardboardtoilet paper tubes just so I could wipe!   

*  One year I got a note from my son's teacher stating that I hadn't sent in the tissue.  I wrote back to her... Oh thats okay, he doesn't use tissue, he uses his teeshirt.  She did not ask for the tissue again.  Now if they asked for toilet paper, well, that I could understand.

*  If the hair on your legs is starting to poke through your jeans and dustbunnies stick to you like velcro then it is time to shave your legs.

*  All of their fancy, modern toys were strewn all over the house and they were running up and down the stairs, chasing each other with the long empty wrapping paper tubes, swinging them like swords, shooting pingpong balls from them, or trumpeting out a melody.  And I was right there with them, waving my wrapping paper tube over my head like a warrior princess with a bent sword, with my calico ribbon crown sitting lopsided on my head. 

*  I went grocery shopping after work last night.  I was in a bad mood to begin with, thanks to my head ache.  Having to fork out $90 didn't help matters.  And for what, biodegradable products that we will consume only to 'exhume' at the end of our digestive cycle and flush down the toilet?  Is that what I work for... the production of solid waste? 

Note:  Click on the asteriks to link to the original entries.

911 and Hey Koolaid!

Yesterday I made my very first 911 call.  The operator answered '911 operator, what is your emergency?' so I told her.... I gave my location, then informed her that one of my customers had fallen and hit her head against a shelf.  She was laying on the floor, obviously bleeding from the back of her head, while a huge knot was forming on her forehead, and she was having what appeared to be a seizure.

The operator freaked!  She started yelling over the phone for me to be calm, and she kept making me repeat everything, insisting that I not hang up on her, to stay with her.  Oh my gosh, this was probably her first real emergency call, I know they get dozens of calls from kids or miss-dials from cell phones.  Suddenly I found myself trying to calm the operator down... 'Yes mamame I'm still here... yes mamame, I'll still at the same location... No mamame, I'm not going to hang up...'.  I'll bet she was relieved when the EMTs arrived and took over the situation.  She'll be fine I'm sure... the patient that is.  I'm not so sure about the operator, she probably needed to get out and unwind or something, poor thing.  I would really put money on it being her first emergency call.  She had 2 different squads there in about 5 minutes though, hows that for service?  A job well done by all!

Someone busted me buying 10 packets of Koolaid today.  It was my friend's husband.  'So, you drink Koolaid, do you?'  Well, that was a dumb question!  'No, I drink Corona, but I don't like to share so I buy the kids Koolaid!'.  But you know what.... when I was a kid we used to get the Koolaid packets and dip our fingers into them and suck the flavor off.  My mom used to wonder where all the Koolaid would disappear, but she never said anything about our red, orange, green and purple fingers.  I tried it recently, ewwwww!  That stuff is so sour I don't know how I could stand it back then!

911 and Christmas sign by FlamingText

CLOSING MAD CASHIER

I have decided to close my Mad Cashier Diary to eliminate the risk of being a suspected of misrepresenting the company I work for.  I have read stories of other journalists and bloggers being reprimended or even terminated by their company for writing about their on-the-job experiences... and I would rather not have to deal with that.  I will however move some of my entries (non-incriminating) over, so if you've already read them, I apologize for the repetition.  Dorn

Diary of a Mad Cashier, June 1, 2004:
I think the weirdest thing I've ever sold at my register was a hog's head.  It was special ordered for a customer and came wrapped in a clear plastic bag.  I grabbed it and laughed, telling the customer I had thought at first that it was a pig's head... and then about screamed because it WAS a pig's head.  Note to self: do not accept dinner invitation from that customer!

One day an old lady came through my express lane with only 3 items... Preparation H, K-Y jelly and a box of Trojans.  She had to have been at least 70!  I hope I still have a use for Trojans and KY when I'm 70. 

An obviously very pregnant young lady came in with her male friend, also purchasing condoms.  I smiled as I handed the bag with their purchase to the woman and offered this advice... "Actually its a little late for those honey!"  She hit me with the bag... but only because she knew me!  I still tease her about that one.

The saddest thing I see, and I see it often, is people who have to use oxygen purchasing cigarettes.  I know its a hard habit to break so I'll just leave it at that.

POPCORN SALAD?

Last night I came home from work and found that Steve had taken it upon himself to do supper.  It was salad night!  I love salad!  We try to have a salad night about once a week.  I've been fortunate in the fact that all of my children enjoy their vegetables.  I had arrived home late so it was just Steve and Rebecca still at the table.  Rebecca was doing her homework while munching on a big bag of popcorn.

'Did you eat?' I asked her as I made my salad.  She just made an 'mmmmmhhhhmmmmm' sound without looking up from her book.  'A salad? Cos I KNOW that popcorn isn't your supper!'  This time she did look up and she gave me one of those looks that kids give their parents when they can't believe how stupid their parents are....

'Popcorn is corn, corn is a vegetable, salad is vegetables...  I'm eatting popcorn salad.'

Okay, I know when I've been beaten.  It took me a minute to shut my gaping mouth and then I just ate my salad in silence, trying to think of some intelligent remark that would support my belief that popcorn wasn't really a vegetables but for that I would have to wait until later to consult the internet.  My kids are not like me at all, they are better and worse than me at the same time... And for that I am afraid... I am VERY afraid!

BRONCOS GET SNOWED!

        Broncos slipped on the snow... 25-24 Raiders!  Whaaaaaaa!  This was the game we were planning on going to but opted out when we started planning for a trip to Kentucky to pick up Gabe.  We don't have to drive to Kentucky after all being as Gabe will be flying back here... but I sure am glad I was in my nice warm den watching the game instead of being out there in the cold.  I suppose it would have been different had they won... but as it turned out I was happy just be be able to watch the game for a change.

Somebody called me a redneck.  They were trying to get back at me because of my choice of candidate for the presidential election.  I couldn't even pretend to be offended.  I was then accused of being too dumb to realize that I was being insulted.  I'm sorry, but that was about as insulting to me as calling a ball round!  It was kind of funny though.  I always refer to myself as a redneck and a hillbilly, but I've never been called one to my face.

And speaking of rednecks... hey Dickidoo... farting is NOT considered a prelude to sex!  Nowhere in any book, not even the Redneck's guide to Sex... does it say that butt-gas is a turn on... it is NOT!  It is NOT foreplay!  So don't even try to get some when the scent is still hanging over the bed.  Some things just can't be done while holding your breath!  I remember farting once... I couldn't help it, it was actually Dickidoo's fault, he knocked it out of me.  That was it, I was too humiliated to go on.  And him?  I don't think he even noticed!  Maybe he did... hmmmm, maybe I was wrong.  Maybe it IS a turn-on! 

FULL MOON

I get the AOL Skywatcher Alerts, and today I got a message stating that tonight was a full moon.  And not just any full moon, but a Full Beaver Moon!  Okay, I'm not even guess on that one! Now I'll admit, I am superstitious to a certain degree, and full moon madness is one superstition that I believe in.  There may not be any scientific data to support it, but I have worked in retail for over a decade and I have noticed a trend.  People really do get crazy when there is a full moon!  Today was bad enough with the after-Thanksgiving shopping frenzy, but to top it off with a full moon just made it worse!  I'm thinking the name 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' is an apt name for a day like today.  I got up way too early, had way too little sleep, my caffeine levels were dangerously low and people were just nuts.  But I didn't get arrested or fired, and I got the last laugh.... I had all of their money, and they went home with stuff they didn't want... they just bought it all because it was on sale!  Ahhhhh woooooooo!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

           

May the day and those that follow be full of blessings for you and yours.  All my best, Dorn and Family.

THIS, THAT and the other thing.

*  New Mexico finally declared Bush as the winner in its election this week....  They promised in 2000 to make reforms to speed up and improve the process.  They succeeded... in 2000 it took a month to tally the votes.  This year it only took them 3 weeks.

*  A federal judge denied a recount petition submitted by Green Party presidential candidates Cobb and Badnarik to recount the Ohio votes.  The duo had received an unofficial count of .026 percent.  I don't get it.... WHY?!  Did they really think they would uncover the 270 electorial votes to win?

*  There is a petition going to get the natural born citizen requirement for presidency amended so that Governor Swartzenegger can run for office in the future.  I think he stands a better chance of running for Miss America, but hey, I'm not putting money against either!  I just don't think its right. 

*  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  But today I was thankful.... thankful that I didn't have to go home to all those grumpy last minute shoppers who were so upset about the long wait in the long lines, as if they felt they and they alone were allowed to procrastinate over buying the ingredients for the big dinner that they have had a year to prepare for.  Hello people!  Thanksgiving comes once a year, every year, and at the same time every year!  You are not the only person in the country who celebrates the holiday, and obviously you are not the only person who waits until the last fricken minute to buy your stuff... so get over it!  You snooze, you loose!  Good grief!  All that fussing and cussing kind of takes the sincerity out of the occasion.  Just be thankful you can even afford a dinner and have family and friends to share it with... don't take it out on the folks working at the store you chose to shop at along with all the other last minute shoppers.  Yep.... I sure am glad I didn't have to go home to those grumps!  I got hugs and kisses when I finally walked in the house.  And for that I was sincerely thankful!

WOO HOO BRONCOS! and a new computer room?

 Okay, the Broncos have definately gotten their groove back.  They whooped New Orlean's butt 34 - 13 on Sunday.  I even got to watch some of it during my break.  My boss insists that I work on Sundays... I don't understand because he is a big time Broncos fan himself... but at least one of the managers kept me up to date with the score... that was cool.

I have had a slight reprieve in my eviction... I still have papers and junk strewn all over the computer room floor so Zack has not been able to move in just yet.  My computer is still in tact.  No folks, I am not typing in the bathroom.... yet!  I may have to clear off the vanity and set up shop there though... right next to the pocket yahtzee!  Hey, that wouldn't be so bad.  Sometimes the only time I get up from the computer is to use the bathroom.  But if I were already sitting on the toilet... I'd NEVER have to get up!  I can put the cpu under the counter, the printer on the towel shelf, set the monitor on the counter (its one of those skinny monitors with a flat screen) ... put a swivel seat on the toilet... oh the possibilities!
32 days until Christmas !

THE SMILE: a poem

                                   

I think one of the biggest thrills for me on the internet would be to have one of my pieces fwd.'d around to the whole world and everyone on their mailing list.  I received a little poem one day in a forwarded message about a smile by an anonymous poet and I thought how neat it was because shortly after I had discoved the internet way back when... I wrote a poem similar to it and had dedicated it to my new online friends and posted it on the local message board.  Well, while cleaning out the cupboard in the room formerly known as My Computer Room (boo hoo hoo!) I found a tattered and worn piece of paper with a poem entitled The Smile, written by Snowfoot (my screen-name from my very first online service) dated April 9, 1998

THE SMILE
I had an extra smile
When I left the house today
I thought I'd give it to someone
I passed along the way.
I tried to give the smile away
But incredibly
Each time I gave it to someone
They'd give it back to me.
So now I have a bunch of smiles,
What am I to do?
I think I'll keep a couple
And then give the rest to you!

Yeah!  That was my poem!  I am Anonymous!  Woo hoo!  So, print it up, pass it around and tell everyone you know who Anonymous is!  She's a fat old lady in Colorado who collects Dust Bunnies!

NOTICE TO VACATE

   

Well, after many days, nay, weeks of procrastinating, the day finally came when I had to relinquish ownership of the computer/gun room to Zack.  It was a sad day for me, I had squatters rights for the better part of the five years we have been here and had accoumulated quite a bit of stuff.  My stuff is now out in the garage with other odds and ends that we have no space for.  I feel so... displaced.  My heart and soul, all of my sentimental treasures are now out there in the cold dank garage to be picked through by the resident rodents (maybe Pepper the hamster and her decendants?) until another of my children moves out and I inherit the bedroom.  Now excuse me while I go and have a pity party... in the bathroom which is the only place in the whole house where I can be completely alone.

THANKFUL .... Weekend Assignment

    

For the Weekend Assignment we have to think of something that we are thankful for but don't always recognize it.  I have many obvious things to be thankful for but the one thing that I take for granted each and every day is..... AOL !  I don't know what I would do without AOL.... I'd probably have to do something like.... housework!  Now I ask you, what fun is that?  So thank you AOL!  Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

THE CHRISTMAS POTATO

 

 

This picture of Gabe was taken in 1989 while we were in Germany.  At the time I had just the 3 boys, Gabe was 5, Zack was 2 and Art was just 4 months old.  Gabe and Zack had been really ornery the past few weeks and I kept threatening them with coal from Santa.  Christmas Eve came and those 2 boys were as bad as ever. They couldn't seem to get their act together and be good, even in a last minute effort.  It just couldn't be done, they didn't have it in them to be good, not even for Santa.  I even showed them a bad boy list with their names on it.  So they went to bed where visions of sugerplums were replaced by chunks of coal.

For all of my threats I knew I would have to give them some coal just to remain credible.  Unfortunately 8pm on Christmas Eve was not the ideal time to go shopping for coal.  Steve ran downstairs and foraged through the garden, but the apartment complex had a manicured landscape that used mulch instead of gravel... we couldn't even find a rock!  So what to do... what to do?  The best I could come up with was a potato.  I wrapped two of them and labeled them for each of the older boys, and made a mental note to give them to the boys first.

It had the desired effect.  The boys knew why they were getting the potatoes and stared at them with regretful eyes.  I wondered aloud if all of the other presents were also potatoes and the boys were very reluctant to open them.  But they did and all in all they had a wonderful Christmas.

This little story would come back and bite me in the butt later though.  I was bragging about my quick thinking to one of the ladies from the Unit's wives group and word soon got around.  Needless to say I wasn't elected Mother Of The Year because I had given my poor sweet little boys potatoes for Christmas.  But thats okay because my boys took my threats seriously after that.

37 days until Christmas !