GOT CARBS?

I'm not really sure what this whole 'low carb' craze is about, but if it means eatting my burger wrapped in a lettuce leaf instead of a bun then count me out!  GIVE ME THE CARBS MAN!  No bun?  Eatting a burger hot off the grill... with a fork and knife?  Now whats the fun in that?  And no fries?  No way!  I eat red meat, I eat bacon, I eat pasta and potatoes... Yes, I really do!  And milk... I drink 2% just because I drink so much of it.  None of that fat-free or sugar free stuff for me.  I want to taste what I'm eatting!  I love eggs... the whole egg and nothing but the egg!  No substitutes, thank-you very much.  I was raised on real food, as was my parents, and my parents parents, and their parents parents.  We've all lived very long and healthy lives.  But.... just in case, I do wash it down with a glass of red wine (or 2 or 3).