Sunday, December 3, 2006


I live just a hop, skip and a jump from a very nice, very high priced grocery store.  I only shop there when I need a few items and its not worth the gas to drive the farther distance to the supercenter.  This classy upscale grocery store has a membership card as well as 'check-out coupons', which issues coupons based on your purchases.  Once upon a time I must have purchased a pack of Kotex there and now the purchase haunts me.  Every time I check out, my eyes light up with excitement as I watch the strip of thermo paper magically appear from the Coupon Wizard next to the register.  One never knows what one will find printed on the paper... maybe is $1.00 off next purchase coupon, or maybe a buy one, get one free coupon.  But lately... ever since that fateful female day, the only coupons that are handed to me are for the Pad of the Month club... $1.00 off my next purchase of 3 mega packs.  I now have over $20 worth of coupons for various feminine hygiene products.  I'm tempted to use them all at once just to see the reaction of the cashier.  Of course that would leave me with a lifetime supply of napkins.  If they track my purchases you'd think that they would be able to figure out that I can't possible redeem all of those coupons.  How many do they think the average female shopper over the age of 45 needs?

Its 16 degrees outside.  It was a beautiful sunny day today, but it was below freezing.  The sun melted much of the snow and ice, and the parking lot steamed under the noon day sun.  Naturally that got me to wondering about my theory on steaming body exhaust.  Without going into too much detail lets just say that sadly, regardly how quickly I spun around following the purge, once again the test was inconclusive.  Tomorrow should be another cold day though and I've got a freezer full of microwavable burritos.


midwestvintage said...

That is so funny.  I keep getting smoking coupons and I haven't smoked for 2 years.  Do I ever get a coupon for fresh spinach which I eat at least 3 times a week?  Never.  Sigh


sdoscher458 said...

It's Murphy's Laws thats what it is as far as getting useful coupons when you can actually use them.  Do you turn around real fast? LOL....SAndi

jckfrstross said...

well at least its not for hemoroids LOL have a good week


royallsgoddess said...

wow, so like, you a supercenter coupon queen. haha, i can see it now. you walk into the store, and all the cashiers and managers know you coming in and i can hear them say "load up the hygine coupons in the coupon wizard!" haha, that was a great story. 16 degrees? wow, i lived in minnesota for 16 years and remember all them cold days, school would be closed cause it was too cold for us younlings to stand outside in the bus stop. i dont miss it much, but i miss the fun we used to have, turning snow banks into slids, and running around in other peoples perfecty snow set yards, just to make ugly footprints in the snow. good time. now i live in NY, where everyone here seems to complain about 50 gefree weather being freezing. ne who..see, im rambeling. i must go. bye


deshelestraci said...

I think you get an A+ for your persistance in the persuit of flatulance studies!

catatonic23 said...

I can't help but wonder if your nice grocery store is Albertson's. That's mine anyway and for some reason I too get coupons for "Monthly" products. Too bad I had a hysterectomy six years ago.


missheathyrmaree said...

Duuude--I am always in need of tampons so if you want to sign me up, that'd be great! ha ha ha.

Hope you had a good weekend!

princesssaurora said...

You are such a treasure...

be well,

brainwhispers said...

You could spend all your coupons and then give them out as Christmas presents.
You must have some female friends who need to be fresh all day! :o)

I cant believe I've actually commented on this entry. "Eurgh!! yucky womens issues. Run, run for the hills" would be a better comment really.

swmpgrly said...

I like the last persons