Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Childbirth

I went through childbirth 5 times.  You would think that by the fifth time it would have gotten easier, but that was not the case.  All it did was prepare me for what was to come.  During my first delivery I had no idea what to expect and could only take it as it came.  When the contractions began for the fifth pregnancy I suddenly remembered... 'Oh yeah, this hurts!'  Unfortunately by that time is was too late for a condom.

One thing that did get better were the babies themselves.  I had never seen a newborn human before and when they held up my first born I remember being horrified by the hairy, purple and red screaming creature covered with blood and white goo.  I demanded to know what was wrong with it but all the doctors and nurses just smiled and said it was a beautiful healthy boy.  It was like a scene from Rosemary's Baby!  It wasn't until he was cleaned up and clothed that I began to see his human traits.

When they announced that my fifth child was a girl I was once again horrified and asked if they were sure.  I already had a 3 year old daughter at home and had learned enough to know that I did not want another one in the house.  Apparently everyone else felt the same because none of the other mothers in the maternity ward would trade with me.

After 5 children I called it quits and had my husband neutered. Childbirth was a painful yet fulfilling experience.  When I looked down at a peacefully sleeping baby there was never any question that it was all worth it.  Now that those babies have grown up I am beginning to have a change of heart.  Thats okay though, revenge will be mine in the form of my grandchildren!

9 comments:

chattiekimmie said...

lol @having husband neutered.  But I know what you mean about looking at a peacefully sleeping baby.  Nothing ever felt better to me than having one fall asleep on my chest and feeling them breathe.  It was a little like heaven to me.

angieabk said...

I have never laughed out loud AT EVERY ENTRY in anyone else's journal like I do yours!  I can't wait to get here every morning!

Thanks again for the giggle....

(PS  I was convinced that my first child was an alien ~ like in the TV show "V".  Scared the snot out me!)
angie

onestrangecat said...

husband neutered.  lol   I was standing in a line at church and these men in front of me were talking and J asked T if he and his wife were going to have another kid after this one, or was he getting fixed?  T said, "as soon as i can get in at the vet down the street....."

rosemary's baby?  you poor thing.  when people are so excited to have a baby I always wonder if they even think about the teenage years.

kathy

beckieramos said...

Yes, it is a very hard time giving birth, but so worth every hour of it!
Lol @ condom joke! You are too funny! Take care and enjoy those beautiful girls! God bless, Beckie

apddispatch143 said...

LOL! "Unfortunately by that time is was too late for a condom."
Can you believe my niece just gave birth this week---she pushed for 5 MINUTES. Is that legal? Swooooop-there it is!

indigosunmoon said...

I did it once. That was enough. LOL
-Connie

hestiahomeschool said...

I only have three living children and I want more. But my husband is finished.  he says. He is not neutered, though, and I wait just like a spider in a web for a time when his guard is down.

floralilia said...

"After 5 children I called it quits and had my husband neutered. "

i had mine too.  this would make a good epitath..

floralilia said...

that's it dammit - you're getting pimped.