5th In State!

The Pride Of Mesa Ridge took 5th in their class during the Colorado State Marching Band Championships. Way to go Art, Becca and Rocky! They performed at Invesco Field. Becca, who is pretty much as anti-Bronco as I am pro-Bronco, even stopped in the end zone and picked some grass for me before leaving the field.

Watching the Oompas compete was the highlight of my vacation. The rest of the time was pretty much a blur of non-accomplishments. Normally a vacation spent doing absolutely nothing would be a good thing, but I had so much that I wanted to do, and needed to do, but other things came up and my to-do list has gotten longer if anything.

Zack, the Great House Mouse Killer, is in trouble. Becca befriended one of the furry refugees and even gave it the name "A B C Alphabet Soup" (please note a slight concern on my part as to her potential choice of names for my future grandbabies). Zack spent the weekend with us so he could watch his siblings compete. He was introduced to 'A B C Alphabet Soup' by his frantic cousin who was startled by the rodent in the bathroom (think it was my little peeking tom?) His hunter instincts kicked in and Zack promptly stomped the poor little critter to death. Becca was devastated (sort of) when she heard the news, until she discovered that 'A B C Alphabet Soup' had relatives living with us as well. Zack went back to Florence last night and won't be back until next weekend, which means the mice will be running rampant until then. Just Jim Fricken Dandy! Hopefully they don't breed as fast as dust bunnies.

It snowed the other night... not enough to stick by morning, but the Peak got a nice dusting. Unfortunately I have been having to deal with frost on the windshield for a week now, which under normal circumstances would not be a problem but I'm driving Big Red, who should qualify for a handicap parking stall herself. She has no power steering at all... not right nor left so now both of my arms are quite muscular underneath all of my flab. I've decided that with the cold weather setting in... the window is definitely stuck half way down! And that is especially sucky since neither the heater nor the defroster work. If I survive the winter Dickidoo has promised to buy me a new vehicle when he pays off the Hemi in the spring. That's 'if' with a capital 'I F'.

Dickidoo is still convinced that I should drive a mini-van. I am still convinced that I should not. Besides seating capacity and mileage the mini-van has nothing I want or need. I'm not sure why he is so insistent about it, perhaps he's hoping that even this late in the game I can still be converted into a Stepford wife type soccer mom, but buddy, that just ain't gonna happen. I want a car, an SUV (which get great mileage now days) or a small truck. If he wants a mini-van he can trade the Hemi in for one himself. I want a vehicle with balls! Like maybe a little 2008 Dodge Challenger....

Can you see me in one of those? I can!

WHAT VACATION?

I'm in day 3 of 5 days off. I'm still waiting for the rest and relaxation to begin. First it was Dickdioo home from Elk Camp and his baby sister back from Kentucky. Then there was a mad rush to get the Southern Oompas back on the road for their return trip home. Filing a police report yesterday for the burglary of Gabe's apartment was a 'hurry up and wait' kind of nightmare that almost cost Becca her participation in the Marching Band Finals this weekend. Fortunately the deputy's nephew is marching (rival school) as well and she agreed to let Becca mail in her statement knowing how important the competition was to her. Today will be spent picking kids up, packing, dropping them off and then running around looking for last minute forgotten necessities.

Tomorrow will be spent in Denver for the State Marching Band Championships. It will be held at the Invesco Stadium, where the Broncos play their home games. Dickidoo, my nephew Joe and I will drive up tomorrow but the band kids are leaving to night and staying at a hotel with the rest of the marching band. 3 Oompas loose in a hotel in Denver, those poor people have no clue what is about to hit them!

That leaves me with Sunday for rest and relaxation.... maybe. (but probably not!)

Every year around this time we get a few guests of our own... field mice looking for a warm place to spend the winter. We currently have one who must have a little bit of dust bunny in it's gene pool because that sucker is big, and noisy! It doesn't sneak around like normal mice, trying to remain un-noticed. This guy runs around squeaking. I think it's actually yelling at me in his little Mouse vocabulary, probably something about those nasty cookies on the lazy Susan that even it won't eat. Like the Oompas, no place is sacred from the Squeaker. This morning while taking care of a pertinent morning ritual I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye. I focused on the Dust Mousy just about the same time it focused on me. I don't know who squeaked louder. I jumped up with my full moons flashing and the mouse went positively Speedy Gonzales, disappearing in a wisp of dust. One thing's for sure, I don't think that critter is going to come sneaking under my bathroom door ever again... unless it actually has a thing for big white human buns, but by the way it's eyes bulged when it saw me this morning I really don't think that is the case.

One hour before I have to pick the Oompas up. That gives me one hour of peace and relaxation... Nope, wait, my nephew has the day off from school because of Parent Teacher conferences. Oh well, it was a nice thought.

Maybe I can collect a quarter or two for the Stupid Question fund. I should have just about enough to buy a new box of truffles. Something tells me I'm going to need a lot of truffles to make it through the rest of the year!

911

Someone broke into Gabe's apartment. There wasn't anything of real value there, just the basic furniture of a young family just starting out, and his computer. His computer contained pictures from his tours in Iraq, pictures from his wedding day and his leave here this summer with his new family. It also contained a diary and original poetry his sister ReBecca had written while helping Kimmie with the babies. The computer, which might get the theft $50 for drugs or booze, was priceless to us. The memories, the images, the words, the sentiment... gone for ever.

To steal from or victimize anyone is wrong, but to steal from a soldier's home while he is deployed overseas in a battle zone is lower than low. Even as I type this my army of vigilante dust bunnies are scouring the streets for the perpetrator. While I maintain a casual belief in karma, in this case I want revenge NOW! I hope that crook chokes on the hairballs of a million dust bunnies. Karma will come later.

THE EVIL ONE

Some people may think that I am the bad seed in the family but that is not so. Dickidoo is the evil one. I may have, in a moment of unguarded impulse, offered to vacuum up my step-ex-mother-in-law, but that is all it was... an unguarded impulse that was never fulfilled.

Dickidoo went one step further.

He had the Oompas stash the crematory box containing Grandma Violet Jean's ashes in the mini-van for his sister to find.

Poor Kesi was already feeling guilty for having misplaced the box to begin with. Then she admitted that while driving through Kansas the other day she saw a white box on the side of the interstate and regretted not stopping to check to see if it was her mother. I suggested that the box had followed her all the way from Kentucky, changing direction each time she made a trip back and forth.

Poor Kesi found the box in the mini van behind her seat and froze.

'Didn't you hear your mother calling out to you.... 'wait Kesi, come back Kesi!" I asked, describing the scene of her mother's box hopping down I-70 from Kentucky until she finally caught up with her in Colorado.

Okay, bad, I know... but I'm not the one who hid the ashes in the mini van to begin with.

That was Dickidoo.

I would never do anything that wicked.

Never!

The Way Things Are...

Things did not go well in Kentucky for my sister-in-law so she and the Southern Oompas will have to return there. My nephew Joe has decided to stay here with us until the rest of the family can move out permanently.


Grandma Violet Jean will return to Kentucky with the rest of her family. I'm sure that sometime in the future her final wishes will be fulfilled, her ashes will be scattered in the Colorado Rockies, and she will be laid to rest but I have given my word and it will be without assistance from me and my Windtunnel.


Dickidoo left for elk camp this morning. With all that has been going on this past week he almost decided to call the whole trip off.


And ruin my vacation? I think not!


I brainstormed like crazy. I came up with options and alternatives. I even found his missing hunting license. He was going hunting, dang it, if I had to drag him up there myself!


Actually he has been a solid rock through all that has happened here these past few weeks and I think he really needs the time away to rewind, regroup and recoup. His trip has been shortened from 10 days to 4 days, but even that will help.


And I shall have the bed all to myself for 4 nights! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!


The Oompas and the high school Marching Band have made it to the State Finals again. This year they are ranked 5th in their class. Needless to say they are ecstatic. This is Rocky's first year. She was nervous in the beginning, but to look at her now you'd think she's been doing it all of her life.


Zack has moved down south where he works at a cement plant. He just bought his first car and he should be in his own apartment by the end of the month. He's 43 miles away and for now we'll see him on the weekends, but I imagine as he becomes accustomed to his independence we shall see less and less of him. (sigh....)

As for me, I am just barely hanging on as my house fills up, empties out and fills up again. Oompas come and go, pulling my heart strings so tight at times that I can barely breath. I try to let the older ones go and spread their wings but it's hard when I know I can't be there if they fall. I try not to become too attached to the younger ones because I know they will be gone in a blink of an eye but it is hard. I feel like a waitress wandering around with my heart on a tray, offering it to everyone, but nobody wants it. They may take a taste but they always put it back and move on.

Maybe I just need to get pregnant and have another Oompa of my own, one that I don't have to worry about falling in love with just to have someone take it away from me.

Ugh! So this is what the empty nest syndrome feels like!

Maybe I just need a good stiff drink.

YAY?

The Oompas are cleaning their rooms in preparation of a new, hopefully better arrangement. Things that have been missing for months are reappearing one by one.

Grandma Violet Jean has been found.

While I am relieved that her ashes have been located and no longer roaming freely in my house, seeing her again is quite unsettling. Jean never lived here in Colorado, nor did she have relatives living here other than the Oompas who moved here after her death so one might wonder why she insisted that her ashes be scattered here.

But I know...

Jean was never welcomed in my house in her lifetime. Now in death she mocks me from inside the ashy cremation box. My sister-in-law needs to find a final resting place for her mother, or I will.

THE GREAT EVICTION

Thanks to the hard work of the Technical folks on AOL and Blogger I have transferred all of my precious blogs here. It was much easier than I had imagined. I'm still waiting for the page to turn black and then have rows of letters dripping down the page like the matrix, but not tonight. Tonight I shall not feed my growing ulcer. Tonight I shall sleep in comfort with the knowledge that my silly ramblings are safely stored in a new location on the cybersphere....

Until Blogger decides that free blogs are a waste of potential rental space and once again we find a 30 day eviction notice posted on the top of our blog.

If you haven't already done so, take advantage of the Blogger import tool and transfer your journals. Its so easy an idiot like me can do it!

Dorn~

FALL CLEANING or 'The Great Migration'

AOL is cleaning house and the blogs are outta here!  My dust bunnies, the Oompas, everyone, everything... POOF!  Gone!

So tell me again, what does AOL stand for?  I knew when I first signed up eons ago.  It was 'America OnLine' or some such silliness like that.  Well, they are systematically kicking America offline, whittling away at the services or products as they call them, until there will be nothing left but advertisements. 

Oh, I get it... Advertisements On Line!  That's what the acronym stands for!  Well, that's about right because with the cut back on chat rooms and message boards and the pending deletion of Journals, Hometown and Pictures then all they have to offer is e-mail  laced with tons of ads... and nobody to read them.

Pity.  I shall miss those silly pop-ups. 

I've already gone over to Blogger, clicked on the <forgot password> link because I don't think I ever knew it, and found a couple of blogs I forgot I even had.  One was so old it even had dust bunnies so I already feel at home.  Found a collection of my videos which was kind of cool so I'll be leaving that one alone.  Unfortunately someone already has a blog called 'Letters To Gabe' so I had to get creative and find a new name.  There is only one Dust Bunny Club Of North America though .

I shall miss this blog, but it's just a vessel.  You can be sure the Oompas, Dickdidoo, the dust bunnies and I shall be raising a ruckus, fartin' up a storm and loving every minute of the time we spend tormenting each other in another corner of the blogisphere.  I'll post our new address when we move in.  Please stop by, we'll keep the light on.

BYOTP (bring your own toilet paper!)

And a box of chocolate truffles would make a nice blog-warming gift...

Tags: AOL Journals Migration

.....

I was exposed to the ugly side of human nature today.  I saw evidence of innocence lost... stolen away like a thief in the night.  I saw a mother's anguish as she was forced to face the reality of her suspicions.  

I returned home to a dark and quiet house that looked like the surreal aftermath of a hurricane.  Toys, shoes, videos, dishes, books and clothes were strewn from wall to wall in a path of destruction.  Tonight I found the clutter reassuring and comforting.  It was a sign of happiness.  I could almost hear the echoes of laughter that must have filled the air just hours ago. 

The Oompas must have really tuckered themselves out making such a mess.  They need their rest.  There is more havoc to reek come morning.

Some where out there, not far away, another mother probably lies awake straining for the echoes of happiness but hears only the sound of her own anguished heart.

Children are gifts we receive.  Cherish and protect them.  Teach them, explain about when it is okay to tell a grown up 'no'.  Keep their laughter ringing loudly.

But make them clean up their own darn mess.  The Oompas have a lot to do before they leave for school in the morning!

BATHROOM SURPRISE!

I walk for almost 8 hours a day at work.  On my breaks I sit any where I can and multitask when I can.  Yesterday while taking a potty break I pulled out my cell phone and logged on to my AOL e-mail, which is about the only way I can get online any more now days.  A couple of my journal alerts confused me until I got a neat little e-mail from Donna, my Dust Bunny Sister In Arms informing me that my Dust Bunny Club blog was one of her featured Guest Editor picks.  I can only hope that the other occupants of the restroom were all sitting down because I'm sure my excited 'whoop' scared the stuffing out of more than just a couple of them.  Thanks Donna.  Long Live the Dust Bunnies!

Dove Promises has a new line of chocolates that you all have just got to try.  Dove Desserts.  And the flavors include two of my favorites, Tiramisu and Hazelnut.  I have been in Chocolaty Heaven for a couple of days now.  It may not last much longer though because the Oompas have discovered my stash and there are only a few pieces left.  Haven't they noticed how much nicer I am when I am under the influence of chocolate?  You'd think they would leave my supply alone, and even keep it replenished, silly little Oompas!  Grrrrr!

Well, off to Black Forest to watch my Oompas beat the snot out of each other at the Melee Conclave.  I have to say that as violent as this sport is, the Oompas have been a whole lot less aggressive towards each other in the house.  They just save it up for the Melee battle field.  The pent up animosity makes for better battles, but it's a bit embarrassing when they start beating up on each other while they're on the same team.   Hopefully they'll behave this weekend.  I can only hope.....

LOOKING MY AGE...

In a week I will be 48 years old so I have decided that it is time I started acting and looking like a 48 year old woman, starting with my boobs.  I'm tired of wondering if guys were checking out my boobs or my knees when they talk to me and gaze downward.  On pay day I splurged and bought a super-dooper-mega-push-em-up bra, and presto, amazo!  My boobs are once again located above my waist and my cleavage no longer stretches from my chest all the way down to my belly button...

Until I take off my  super-dooper-mega-push-em-up bra and I once again resemble an old over milked heifer, sigh........... 

But you can bet when I celebrate my birthday at the Santana concert in Denver that the twins will be rolled up and tucked away in my super-dooper-mega-push-em-up bra and I'll be bouncing around like a giddy teenaged groupie.

Until, of course, I take off my super-dooper-mega-push-em-up bra, but that will be Dickidoo's problem then....

HOME ALONE WITH THE OOMPAS.

It's quiet here in the House of Oompa, but only for a few more minutes.  By 3:15 the first of the Southern Oompas will be home from school and the others should follow not far behind.

Dickidoo and his baby sister should be home from Kentucky by night fall.  They've been gone for a week taking care of some legal issues.  They took the baby with them since he's not in school yet.  That left me alone in the house with the other 7. 

During the past week we have developed a few new rules, such as the 'Stupid Question' rule.  Every stupid question comes with a 25 cent fine.  Stupid questions like 'What are you cooking?' when I'm standing at the stove scrambling with a plate of bacon on the side.  Stupid questions like 'Where is the milk?'  Just for the record I wasn't the one who came up the quarter fine.  I have always been of the thinking that every stupid question deserves a stupid answer.  'I'm cooking fried chicken, I'm just tryin' to hatch the eggs first.' and 'The milk is in the washing machine where we always keep it.'

11 people living in this house.  Every person has at least 3 pairs of shoes, 7 pairs of pants, 10 shirts, 10 pairs of socks, 7 pairs of undies ( and about 5 bras for each of the 5 females blessed with boobs).  That comes out to 77 pairs of pants, 110 shirts, 110 pairs of socks (or 220 individual socks), 77 panties and bvd's, and 25 bras.  Plus towels, and sheets, and blankets.  Good Golly!  That poor washing machine is going all the time, and I swear the toilet never stops flushing.

We go through at least a gallon of milk a day, and that's rationing it.  We make 3 pots of coffee and a 32 ounce bottle of Hazelnut creamer only lasts 2 and a half days with 5 coffee drinkers in the house.   The kids consume 5 boxes of cereal in a week, it would be more but we try to serve a hot breakfast on the weekends.  On scrambled egg morning we crack 18 eggs.  As for toilet paper, even with one Oompa still in diapers we have more than doubled the number of rolls we go through in a week.  I'm waiting for the Waste Management guys to notice the drastic increase in sewage coming from our address and to add some kind of mass waste surcharge.  It's just a matter of time.

Its Marching Band time again.  Rocky is a freshman and plays percussion in the pit.  Art (super-senior but only a 4th year marching band student) is back on the tuba and Becca is in her third year with the color guard.  'The Pride Of Mesa Ridge' competed at the Colorado State Fair in Pueblo, and took 1st in their division and 1st Overall!  Woo Hoo!  What a way to start off the season!  Go Mesa Ridge!  Go Oompas!

They're home......  (sigh, it was nice while it lasted).  Time to pull out my referee hat and the Stupid Question Quarter Jar.

I'm going to be very rich by the end of the year.

Heck, I'm going to be very rich by the end of the day!

Gotta love all those Oompa hugs though.

PHEW!

No, I've not been on vacation or hiatus.  In fact I've been far from it.  Lets just say that I've been a little busy.

Love the new job, hate the hours.  I've learned a new respect for the average Joe On The Street who is very honest.  On the other hand I've been introduced to a whole new level of 'stupid'.

Big Red is no longer a left handed truck (can only make left turns).   Big Red now has absolutely NO power steering.   On the bright side I now have huge toned biceps on both arms.

Grandma Jeannie is missing.  Grandma Jeannie was last seen in a cremation box labeled 'Violet Jean' some time shortly after the Southern Oompas arrival.  She has not been seen since.  Grandma Jeannie and I had our differences and I would not be surprised if her spirit is now laying in wait to haunt my butt for the rest of my time in this dimension.

There are 11 people living in the House of Oompa, Loompaland, USA.  8 of those people have long hair.  What is the worse thing that can happen to a household of 11, of which 8 have long hair?

Can you say 'head lice' ?

Interestingly enough Art, the one with the nappiest, knottiest hair, is nit free.  I guess his hair was so bad even the lice didn't want to live there.  Don't know if I have any yet.  I suppose Dickidoo and I will sit around and pick through each others hair later, kind of a primitive, primeval kind of thing... he can eat my lice and I'll eat his.  Grrrrrowllllllllll!

I have company for my 'Back To School Happy Dance' this year.  My sister-in-law will be in the cul-de-sac with me as the last Oompa leaves for the little cinder block school house tomorrow morning.  Well, we'll still have the littlest Oompa (Bubbah) but he doesn't talk yet so he's not so bad.

11 butts go through a whole lot more Charmin than 6 butts do, and that's a fact! 

And milk.

And hazelnut coffee creamer.

But the hug ratio has gone WAY up, and that is the best part of all!

DID YOU KNOW....

Did you know that if you have dark brown hair with white steaks and you try to lighten your dark brown hair with peroxide based 'Sun In' in order to make the white streaks a little less obvious that the dark brown hair will NOT lighten an iota while the white hair will in fact turn a blinding brilliant shade of pure neon white making it even more obvious that they exist?

I know that now.

Grrrrrr!

NUTSHELL BLOGGING

These past few weeks have been INSANE! Life in Loompaland has been turned completely upside down, but mostly in a good way.

* The 4th of July saw the return of the Southern Oompas.  This time they brought with them their mom (Dickidoo's baby sister) and baby brother.  Welcome back Southern Oompas!

* My new job is a blast!  I'm in my final week of training and if I had any doubts as to the wisdom of my move, I no longer harbor such thoughts.  I still can't believe I'm getting paid for this!

* Dickidoo took me to see one of my favorite groups when they were in concert... AMERICA!  I got my tee shirt and ticket autographed by two of the band members, but don't ask me who they were.  I'm a lousy groupie, for all I know those two guys could have been a couple of roadies.  Who cares, they were cute and they signed my tee shirt!

* And this year Dickidoo got me my birthday present early.  Tickets to SANTANA!  And yes, the concert is actually on my birthday... September 13th... (cyber presents accepted at this address .)

* On a sad note, Kimmie's mom is not doing too well so Kimmie and the Grand-Oompas will be returning to their home state to be with her until Gabe returns from Iraq.  It breaks my heart to let them go but I know where I would want to be if I were in the same position so I am trying to adjust to being a long distant grandma again. 

* On the bright side it will be nice having my Becca Bee home again.  And Art should be home on the 20th.  Gain some, lose some.  I guess one can't have it all for ever but it sure was nice while it lasted.

Dorn~

HALF WAY UP OR HALF WAY DOWN?

The optimist in me says that the window is half way up while the pessimist says its half way down.  Either way I think the state of Colorado owes me a huge 'thank you!' because until the day Big Red's window got jammed in the 'half way' position we hadn't seen a drop of rain.  As if dealing with left handed steering wasn't bad enough, the passenger side window had to get stuck half way open... or half way shut... it doesn't matter.  Its open and ever since it got stuck like that its rained every single fricken day.

Not that I mind, we need the rain, and it's the passenger side so I don't have to worry about a wet seat.  Folks suggest that I tape up the window but why?  The way I see it I may actually get clean upholstery, at least on the passenger side.

And all the rain is doing wonders for my zero-scaping!  My dandelions are growing like crazy! Fill 'er up Zeus!

PRODUCT WRAPPERS and a new countdown of sorts.

I love to read.    I read novels and comics, cookbooks and greeting cards.  I read cereal boxes and shampoo bottles.  I read EVERYTHING!  Fantasy, fact, fiction, ingredients, anecdotes, technical hoo haa, I read it all.

Some are quite amusing, like the Glaceau Vitamin Water bottles (read them, they're hilarious!)  The Java Monster cans are pretty cool as well (I don't think they like Starbucks).  And recently my sister Redbird sent me some 'biscuits' she had picked up during a trip to Scotland with a cute nutritional warning.

Tesco Value Rich Tea Biscuits: 

Allergy advice: * Contains wheat, gluten, sulphites.  * Recipe: No nuts.  * Ingredients: Cannot guarantee nut free.  *  Factory: Product made in nut free area but nuts used elsewhere.

Suitable for Vegetarians.

Dove Promises are a favorite of mine.  I buy them not because they taste good and sooth my addiction, but for the inspirational sayings found on the inside of the foil wrapper.    Here, let me unwrap one now and share....  Oh crap, the bag is empty.  Who ate the last of my Dove chocolates?  Grrrrrrrrr!  How good of them to leave a wrapper.

"Smile.  People will wonder what you've been up to."

How ironic.  Well, this should be easy, I just need to look for the Oompa who is smiling... with smooth milk chocolate covered teeth!

Breath in... breath out.... Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.... Must not freak out over chocolate....

Okay, all better.  Now, where was I?  Ah yes.  Inspirational messaging on product packaging.  Guess what product wrapper these sayings decorate.

"Keep a cool head"

"Stop stressing, start focusing."

"Live fearlessly."

"Win or lose, play fair."

Nope, its not Gatorade.  Its not Nike or Reebok either.  Need another hint?

"Control your period, don't let your period control you."

Yeppers, the outer wrappers for Playtex Sport Tampons now come with assorted inspirational and motivational messages. 

Once I read them I got a whole new perspective on my time of the month.  I am woman, hear me roar!

Oh please!  Periods suck and I can't wait for menopause so I can be done and over with them.  "Keep a cool head", "Live fearlessly". Did a committee really sit around a table in some board room brainstorming for motivating slogans to get women excited about using a tampon?  And this was the best they could come up with?

Personally I can't think of anything that would make me feel better about my period... besides not ever having it again for the rest of my life.  The average age for menopause is 51.  That's just over 3 years away or only 39 more cycles.  That's all the inspiration I need.

And of course maybe some more Dove Promises.

FUN TIMES IN FOUNTAIN

Fountain, Colorado has been a mess of messes lately.  I don't live in Fountain, it lies on our southern border.  I do, however, work in Fountain, and Dickidoo crosses a section of it to go to work each day.

A week ago there was a train derailment not even a mile from where I always get stuck at the RR crossing (but only when I'm running late).  8 railway cars full of coal tipped.  A few were crumpled and shredded like an aluminum can.  I'm still not sure how it happened but apparently the cars were towards the center (how is that possible?) of the freight train and nobody was injured.

With summer in Colorado comes summer storms.  Colorado has had some of the best storms I have ever seen.  Lots of thunder and lightning, lots of rain, and tornados!  Of course I've never seen a tornado because we never get tornados in my town.  But we do get them in Fountain!  And because every time a tornado watch is issued, every idiot runs outside to 'watch' for a tornado, Dickidoo was able to catch this little funnel cloud on his cell phone.  No, it didn't touch down although one was reported to have touched down else where in the area.  And for the record, yes, I was outside at work 'watching' for a tornado as well, I just didn't see one, dang it!

Two days ago Dickidoo and I were driving down to 'my store', when we spotted a bunch of emergency vehicles across from our dentist's office.  Some guy (drunk) ran a stop sign and plowed into a house on the other side of the street.  And he just kept on going, through the living room, across the hall, through the kitchen and dining room area.... and out the back door.  Seriously.  The guy drove right through the house, leaving a huge gaping hole from the front of the house to the back yard.  And wouldn't you know, with two rival paparazzi traveling together with a combined value of over $3000 in camera equipment, neither of us had a camera.  We didn't even have our camera phones.  Disgraceful! 

About my job... no, I am not part of the management team.  Lets just say that I am in store security and leave it at that.  I can't carry a gun, although I have volunteered to do so and even offered to provide my own firearm and ammunition.  Nope, not gonna happen, dang it!  Any how, today we lost power at the 'Store'.  I guess I'm too new at the job because while everyone else in the store was running around worrying about getting the customers safely out of the darkened store without injury or any unpaid for merchandise, I was more worried about whether or not the automatic toilets would still flush during the blackout.  By the way, no, automatic flushing toilets do not operate during a power outage.  Fortunately the power was restored before any 'accidents' happened.

One of Dickidoo's friends talked him in to inviting his daughter over to demonstrate an over priced vacuum cleaner.  Dickidoo is a good ole boy and will allow the children of his friends to practice their salesmanship on him just for the experience.  We cannot afford an over priced vacuum but I was tempted because not only did this little bugger suck up 7 years worth of dirt and grime, this contraption vacuumed, mopped, steamed, vaporized and sanitized.  About the only things it didn't do was cook and change diapers!  It even got Rocky excited about vacuuming.  Those who know the Oompas know they NEVER get excited about cleaning so this was AMAZING!  That alone sold me.

And I might even had busted out the old check book except for the little fact that the vacuum has a greater Blue Book value than Big Red... and even if I had a checkbook (which I don't) there isn't enough $ in my account to pay for the tax on that machine let alone pay for the machine itself.

Do you remember when a straw broom was good enough? 

Do you even REMEMBER straw brooms?

Check it out, my Dust Bunny blog has been read 297 times since its creation on March 18, 2004!  Woo Hoo!  Thank you Wonderful Readers! 
Dorn~

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STAY OF EXECUTION and a new job.

Dickidoo has decided to accept my appeal and has agreed to let me keep my beloved pick-up Big Red for one more year.  Of course in doing so he has committed himself to repairing the somewhat sticky steering that has pumped up my right biceps to a glorious tone of brawn and muscle.  I look like a right handed Popeye.

I have a new job.  I still work at "The Store", but in a new department.  I can't discuss it online, but what I will say is that I have an office.  And with that office come KEYS!  I have KEYS!  And PEOPLE!  I have PEOPLE!  Woo Hoo!  I even have my very own file cabinet drawer.  Okay, so it's just a drawer, but if I do good I will get my very own FILE CABINET!  Hey, in my job if you have an office, let alone a file cabinet drawer then you're SOMEBODY!

So let me tell you about my first day in my job as SOMEBODY.  I'm dancing through the hallway jingling my keys so everyone will see that I have keys to an office, with my very own file cabinet drawer, and I stop in front of the office to try out my new keys.  The first key doesn't work so I try the second key.  It didn't work either so I try again.  Then I spot a second lock so I try each of the keys in it.  Once again my efforts are unsuccessful.  Dumbfounded I step back and study the door as if through the power of telepathy I could unlock the locks.  That was when I noticed the narrow peep window in the door.  My office doesn't have a narrow peep window.  For the past few minutes I had been trying, under the careful surveillance of a couple of security cameras, to break into the store manager's office.

Grrrrr!

I finally got into MY office, and opened my file cabinet drawer where I found my training packet.  Its a beat up old file cabinet drawer, a little rusty in the corners, but it's all mine, in my musty little office.  Tomorrow I get voice mail and an email address.  I'm moving on up.  Yahoo!