Wednesday, July 6, 2005

THE THRONE ROOM

We had a cushioned toilet seat in the main bathroom.  It was soft, smooth vinyl, gently padded and stayed warm even during the winter months so your business didn't get scared back in as it does when you sit on a cold wooden or plastic seat in the dead of winter. 

Please note that I used 'had' as in past tense.  We HAD a cushioned toilet seat.  We do not have one anymore.  Someone got bored while sitting on the throne doing what ever people do when they sit on the throne.  Someone decided, in their infinite boredom, to play 'dot to dot' on my nice cushioned toilet seat... with a sharp object!  And when they tired of the game and vacated the gaming chair, the once smooth padded seat was riddled with holes.

But that wasn't the end of the story.  A simple seat cover could have prolonged the life of the cushioned toilet seat... had someone with incredibly poor aim not gotten to the bathroom before we could add the protective covering.  And the unprotected foam cushion just absorbed it all like a thirsty sponge.  The toxic waste leak was discovered by the oldest Oompa female who set off the alarm and scared all of the other Oompas into closed lip denial. 

Dickidoo assumed the hazardous waste clean-up and restoration of the throne room.  We now have a virtually indestructable solid plastic toilet seat, completely spill and puncture resistant.  No doubt it will scare my business back where it came from in the cold winter months, but in the heat of the summer it is quite cool and comfortable.  I may have to install a Pocket Yahtzee in the nearby cabinet.

15 comments:

scotthlori said...

LMAO  How funny!  You can take something so simple and make it a descriptive, witty entry!  That why I love your journal!

Lori
http://journals.aol.com/scotthlori/DiscoveringMe

sdoscher458 said...

oh, poor seat to meet such an end! I see you had a case of the "Not me's" that used to break out at my house a lot years ago....Sandi http://journals.sdoscher458/LifeIsFullOfSurprises

gdireneoe said...

OMGOMG!  Woman you are a HOOT!  Hail, hail the next Erma!    C.
http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies

deshelestraci said...

You make me laugh!  In this life it is an important thing!  Keep up the good work!
Traci

mumma4evr said...

LOL.... hard seats might make people get in and out of there quickly!
Becky

jaxnan said...

Queen Dust Bunny........I love you and can't wait to read your next entry. I just want to pass this along to you, we call our Yahtzee game "the poop-a-meter"
At your house, would you call it the"OOmpa Loompa Poop-a Meter?"

princesssaurora said...

Thanks for the laugh...this is so typical isn't it???

Kids!!!

Dawn

swmpgrly said...

I think you should make a public service anouncement on that story...lol

jouell3935 said...

LMAO!!! Yahtzee??!! Lol...or those games they leave on the tables at pancake houses{why is it just pancake houses that have them ???} LOL..Love your journal!!!!
Jodi

purplectigger said...

Never a dull moment in your life is there. I like the padded ones myself.
Hugs, R.C.

chadandjen1216 said...

I love your journal!  Your family always brings a smile to my face!
http://journals.aol.com/chadandjen1216/OhMeOhMyNotAgain

jrmkiss said...

Your journal is definetly one of the funniest that I have read! My daughter is 3 and when she started potty training a year ago she did her business on the kitchen floor and had a "souviner" on her foot! She came running to me and pointed at the mess and proclaimed, "Mommy, look what Snowie (the dog) did!"                             http://journals.aol.com/jrmkiss/JustMe

bigred3392 said...

R.I.P. toilet seat.

This entry made me smile :)

http://journals.aol.com/bigred3392/TracysAwesomeJournalofAwesomenes

hestiahomeschool said...

Someone once played dot to dot on a waterbed, and made about thirty holes in it that did not leak until her parents were sleeping on it....

cneinhorn said...

oh goodness!  those oompas are always up to something, keeping you on your toes for sure!