Wednesday, July 20, 2005

WHY I KEEP A JOURNAL

I have been on this earth for almost 45 years.  During those years I have been to two other countries besides the United States.  I grew up with 5 siblings, and went on to raise 5 of my own.  I was born into the military, married into the military, and last year I sent my first born to follow in the footsteps of his father and grandfathers.  From time to time I sit and reflect on my life, laughing at some of the memories, shedding a tear at the somber ones, and then... as I struggle with a vague and elusive memory, I feel frustration at the loss of a precious moment in my life that has slipped through my grasp and faded into obscurity.  My mind has become a maze of memories that grow more and more crowded with each passing day.

Keeping this journal has allowed me to keep my experiences and thoughts fresh for reflection at a later date.  It has also allowed me to reach back into the haze of my mind and retrieve memories long forgotten, so that I may shake them off, iron them out and display them on the collage of my life. There is no order to the way I display my life, just as there is no order to how I live it.  I splash my thoughts up on the canvas with the same spontaneity I use in my daily life.  Those who know me personally look upon my journal and find a clearer understanding of who I am and how I came to be this way.  Those who know me only from these brief glimpses afforded by my journal may wonder about the sincerity of my entries but while I may be a eloquent story teller, I am a lousy liar.  For what ever reason a visitor may have to return for another peek at my ongoing saga, I invite their interest, and have on occasion, been the recipent of their unconditional support.

I write mostly for my children, so that they may look on my words and know about me and their importance in my life.  When the spoken word fades into the past, the written word remains a solid testament.  I never want there to be any doubt in regards to my love for them.  Life is all about how you look at it.  I view my life at a slightly lopsided angle and hope those who read this can tilt their own head enough to appreciate my stories.  I have been touched and inspired by many who respond to my words.  I am not searching for approval and yet I am constantly amazed by the number of readers who can relate to some of my stories.  It does not elevate me in terms of importance.  What it does is prove that EVERYONE has a wonderful story that is their life, even if the individual may not think so at the time.  My journal is the story of my life, but it is just one of so many other wonderful and unique stories in the library of life here in J-land.

July's Very Special Artsy Essay  in celebration of AOL Journal's 2nd Anniversary.

13 comments:

chadandjen1216 said...

You keep rockin' on girl!

scotthlori said...

Wonderful wonderful entry!  Very well written!

Lori
http://journals.aol.com/scotthlori/DiscoveringMe

swmpgrly said...

Great entry!

purplectigger said...

Great entry. I enjoy reading about you and your family , Keep up the great writing.
Hugs, R.C.

deabvt said...

Beautiful.
V

mumma4evr said...

I love coming to your journal...you  help me keep things inthe right priority!
Becky

mutualaide said...

Great entry!

ckays1967 said...

There is no order to the way I display my life, just as there is no order to how I live it.  I splash my thoughts up on the canvas with the same spontaneity I use in my daily life.  Those who know me personally look upon my journal and find a clearer understanding of who I am and how I came to be this way.  Those who know me only from these brief glimpses afforded by my journal may wonder about the sincerity of my entries but while I may be a eloquent story teller, I am a lousy liar.  



I could have written these lines in my own world and been telling the truth. Lovely word choice!

Good luck.

ckays1967 said...

There is no order to the way I display my life, just as there is no order to how I live it.  I splash my thoughts up on the canvas with the same spontaneity I use in my daily life.  Those who know me personally look upon my journal and find a clearer understanding of who I am and how I came to be this way.  Those who know me only from these brief glimpses afforded by my journal may wonder about the sincerity of my entries but while I may be a eloquent story teller, I am a lousy liar.  



I could have written these lines in my own world and been telling the truth. Lovely word choice!

Good luck.

judithheartsong said...

Dorn this is just beautiful and speaks eloquently of passing down our stories. Very well said and very well written, I am so glad and honored you decided to share.
judi

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xxroxymamaxx said...

What you said about writing for your kids......those are the same thoughts I have.  someday they will look back at all this.....and say, wow, that is my mom?  But I have recently started a private journal for deeper and more personal thoughts, feelings, and memories.....I want them to read that too someday when they are old enough to understand!  GBU, Shelly

sdoscher458 said...

That was a nice entry....you have a remarkable sense of humor and it comes through in your writing very well, I enjoy following your story...Sandi