I was talking to Gabe on the phone yesterday, discussing his upcoming move back to Colorado this summer when I walked past Rocky's room, tripping over Jubilee, the Oompy, who shadows my every move when I'm home. Her eyes and mine focused on a little 'indiscretion' right about the same time and we both got an 'oh shit!' look in our eyes. I shouted out and glared down at the hound but she was no longer by my feet. She ran like lightning into the room and before I knew what her intention was she had scooped the log up in her jowls and streaked past me. Instinctively I took chase down the short hall and up the stairs.
That was about the time it dawned on me....
Just what did I intend to do once I caught the turd-eating pooch... take the turd away?
Oh heck no! I didn't want it! I hit the handle on the back screen door and Jubilee ran out without slowing down. I didn't even bother to see what she was going to do with her prize, I just slammed the door shut.
Jubilee has been a part of the family for 4 weeks now. The novelty has worn off. She is no longer the 'Poopy Little Puppy'. She is the Shit-Hound! The lady who sold her to us told me that she might be eating the turds to hide the evidence of her accidents so we wouldn't be angry at her.
Ah Jubi, you shouldn't have! Really, you shouldn't have... so quit it!
Gabe was laughing on the phone the whole time. Yeah... just wait till this summer when he gets to meet Jubilee face to stinking face, and she licks him with her poopy tongue! We'll see how hard he laughs then!
I've been surveying my friends who have dogs and almost all of them admit that their dogs eat turds. I've had dogs before, they never at turds! Alpo dog food which is hard to distinguish between pre-digestion and post-digestion - yes. A dead critter now and then, maybe. Then of course a mother dog will lick her babies to make them 'go', and all dogs lick their own butts (and other dogs butts), but I'd never heard of them just out right eating shit before.
It's like extreme food recycling.
And yet through all this traumatic discovery I have found a new inspiration to communicate with my Maker. Each night I pray: "Dear God, thank you for making me human rather than canine."
Who ever coined the phrase 'it's a dog's life' must have had a shit hound.
8 years ago