New Years will be celebrated at home again, with perhaps a friend or two dropping by. Each year Steve, the kids and I, and our guests, announce our New Year's Resolutions, and laugh about our failed resolutions for the past year. I don't think I've ever been able to accomplish what I have resolved to accomplish. Sheesh, why bother? Well, as they always say... its the thought that counts!
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!
Gabe is back in Kentucky. It wasn't as hard saying good-bye this time. The hard part of his training is over, the memories of others no longer haunt me. He will be fine. He still needs to learn to keep a clean room (hahaha! So do I, but I don't have Platoon Sgts. checking up on me!) He left a bunch of stuff in Art's room, where he was bunking in during his stay, and told his little brother that he could keep what ever he found, including any money. Art found a bottle of Coca Cola and popped it open. Inside the cap he found a message that read 'YOU HAVE WON A PS2 SYSTEM'. Well hot dang! Art was so calm about it, but I was hooting and hollering, and soooo excited! We NEVER win anything. Anyhow, yes, Art is going to claim the system and then send it to Gabe since the kids already have a PS2. (To Art's credit I thought he would want to sell it and keep the cash, but nope, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it... give it to his big brother!)
The news on TV has been so sad lately. Its silly, I know, but I find myself tearful everytime I watch the news about the aftermath of the tsunamis. I try to distance myself, I've never been there, I don't know anyone there... but I can't. I see the scared look in the eyes of the orphans, the pain in the parents who have found their child's body, I see the remains of the once beautiful land, and I'm bawling like a baby. How does a country recover from something as devastating as that?
Okay, too sad... quick change of subject. Did you know that pearl onions cause gas? I didn't, and I loaded my curry stew up with them. And they get better with age! We ate left-overs last night. I was trying to be discreet in the bathroom this morning while Dickidoo was sleeping, but it just wouldn't stop and after a while I don't know which end was making more noise, my butt or my mouth cos I was laughing so hard! I sounded like that stupid French horn the kids have been tooting these past few days. Okay, phew, got that out of my system. And I promise... no more about farts for the rest of this year!
Check it out, only 360 more days until Christmas! And I will be ready, yes sirree Bob! I've already got some presents stuffed in corners. The trick will be to remember where they are when December pulls around.
This morning while brushing my hair I decided to weed out some of the white hair I have. After pulling about 20 strands out I decided to quit for fear of creating a bald patch. After 44 years I may have to break down and color my hair. I've never done it before and am so paranoid that my scalp and face will become colored as well. Just removing the 20 strands that I did took years off of my appearance. I wonder if shaving my arms and legs will make me look thinner. Hey, this is Colorado, there's no need to shave in the winter time, and in fact the hair serves as an insulator! But it does give a poofy appearance under my clothes.
For those who have inquired about my curry recipe, I will get the recipe out to you in a couple of days. I cheat and use a pre-made curry paste for the base, but it takes a lot of prep time and is smelling pretty darn good right now! Actually I'm in the process of babbling, I'm trying not to think about my son's departure in the morning. Don't know why, this is so silly. And I guess he's pretty certain about being stationed at Fort Hood for his first duty station. Close enough for a visit, far enough so's not to be nagged on by mama.... yep, I see how it is! My other sons are constantly rolling their eyes at me. If they decide to join the military they will probably sneak off without telling me, and then ask to be stationed in Alaska or some far away place like that. And heaven help their poor wives when ever they decide to settle down cos I will probably be the typical Mother in Law!
The Bronco's have finally found their groove... again! Bronco's 37, Titans 16. We still have a chance at the playoffs. Of course the Titans haven't been playing very well this year and I don't consider the win to be a great accomplishment. The next game will be against the Colts... that will be the game to win!
I took advantage of the After Christmas sale at work and bought a bunch of stuff to use as gifts and decorations for next year... they will probably join all the stuff I bought last year for this year... and get forgotten next year... Such is the ways of my life, but I just couldn't pass them by. Anyhow, among the stuff I bought was a thin brass French horn, purely for decorative purposes only. My younger children are convinced however that it is a playable musical instument. It is NOT! They blow it morning, noon, and night, sounding like a monotoned fart that kind of pinches off when they run out of breath. I picked up a bag of miniature horns as well, I refuse to let them open the bag. Its bad enough with one going off non-stop, Heaven help us if the little ones start blowing! They're all getting put away under the stairs this evening, and if there is a kid still attached by the lips to the horn, well, see you next Christmas kid!
Art did my dishes yesterday. I came home from work and the counter was clear. In fact, not only was it clear, it was sparkling! I don't know what kind of threats his daddy sent his way, I don't care... it was beautiful! Thank you Art!
Today is our last day with Gabe, he leaves first thing in the morning. I got up late, as if to prolong the time we have remaining. It didn't work, but it doesn't matter, I still have to go into work until 6pm. Tonight we will be feasting on elk curry, its one of my signature dishes, served on a bed of rice... We tried to make as many of Gabe's favorites while he was here although once he gets into a real unit the mess hall food will be much better... at basic I think the cooks go out of their way to serve up the most bland tasting food, which really doesn't matter since the recruits usually don't have time to eat let alone taste the food. Oh, its been so nice having Gabe home, I'm going to miss him again. But this time I think it will be better, he's through the toughest part of his training and he did fine. I believe he is on his way to becoming one heck of a fine soldier.
Thanks to everyone who over the months have helped to bring my counter up and over the 15,000 mark. True, a good majority of the hits were me, checking to see if anyone other than myself actually visits the Dust Bunnies, and it just tickles me beyond belief that there are so many wonderful people out there who actually do. So thank you to all who have shared in my good times, and sad times, and SMELLY times. Its been an awesome year, but lets see what kind of mischief we can get into in 2005!
A very special thanks to Amy for the Bronco graphics.
How do you decorate a redneck Christmas tree? Get a strand of icicle lights and drape them over the front side of the tree. The green wired strands are best, but the white ones will work in a pinch. Its much quicker and easier to just decorate the front side of the tree since that is the only side that anyone sees, just be careful not to make too heavy on one side because it can and will fall over! After a while we decided to just leave the fallen ornaments off.
I should have known when I got my shopping done early and made it home long before the stores closed for the holiday that something was wrong, something was terribly wrong. Unfortunately I didn't pay attention to that little twinge in the back of my mind that said "hey stupid... this is too easy, you've forgotten something!" I wouldn't find out what it was that I had forgotten until 10:30, when the last child was finally in bed. Steve and I pulled out the bags and boxes of gifts that had yet to be wrapped, pulled out the boxes and bags of ribbons and bows, the rolls of tape... and NO wrapping paper... NO gift tags! I thought for sure I had stocked up on them during the after Christmas clearance sales last year... but in fact it had been the year before. The kids had used the last of the wrapping paper on their gifts... we had nothing left to wrap all the other presents with! Quick thinking had me hauling out our mega roll of butcher paper which we buy for packing our deer and elk meat in. Quickly designed address labels served as gift tags and we were in business.
This is Rocky's present... for waking us up at 6:45 am! (we went to bed at 1:30!). I don't know what time that child woke up, but she had coffee brewing and had already torn into her stocking. None of the big gifts were wrapped since neither Steve nor I had the will to piece together the butcher paper to cover them, so she knew what she was getting, she just couldn't play with them until we officially handed the gifts out. She didn't mind that the pile under the tree looked more like the counter of a meat market... she wanted her loot!
And Santa and Mrs. Claus made their traditional visit to the house bearing even more gifts. None of the kids believe anymore, but its still a very magical visit that they look forward to each year. The Stites are very dear friends of our and sadly we had to share the tragic loss of their son Nolan in 2000 while he was going through Basic Training... My heart ached for them as we celebrated the return of my son in a way that they were unable to with their own. Words were not spoken but I know many thoughts were on Nolan on this day. I miss him still... God bless my young angel.
I actually began this entry hours ago but was interrupted when Steve got a phone call from Gabe, he had been out visiting some friends and the car had been hit by another vehicle that had slid out of control on an icy turn. I can't begin to describe the fear I felt... and I can't explain why but for some reason I didn't want to go to the scene of the accident with Steve. I knew Gabe was okay, he had said so... but I knew my mind would go crazy when I saw him and the car... and it did. But he really was okay and I tried not to embarass him with too much of the mother-hen stuff. As for the car, it is now offically UGLY! A dented driver's side door, busted lights, and the window won't go up. Its going to be a long cold winter... I wonder if there is a dealer who buys ugly cars?
From my family to you and yours, may you have a very Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, Happy Hannakuh, Happy Kwanza, Feliz Navidad, Season's Greetings, and what ever!
From me and mine,
Jody "Dornbrau" Navakuku
(wow, I'm so used to writing Dorn that my real name just doesn't look right online!)
(just have to share this... Gabe let me read his journal he kept within the margins of his Soldier's Handbook)
Sat., Oct 23
Well, I finally got a hold of my parents today. I was so happy that I got a hold of them today. But I almost started to cry cuz I only got to say a couple of words to my mom and stuff, and she is like my best friend and all. But I told them that I was going to write them. Oh well.
(awwwww! okay, yes, that made me cry too!)
* I am waiting for uni-brows to come back into fashion because I hate plucking my eyebrows... it hurts!
* I am waiting for Prince Charming to ride up and sweep my daughter off her feet, marry her and live happily ever after... so I can have all my clothes back.
* I'm waiting for my grandchildren to be born... so I can teach them to be just a rotten as their parents were!
* I am waiting for the dandilions to take over the yard so I can have a green yard again.
* I am waiting for my Coca Cola bottle collection to become worth millions. My kids are waiting for me to leave my Coca Cola bottle collection unguarded so they can drink it. I don't think they realize that there is an expiration date on the bottles for a reason.
* I am waiting for the day my kids will ask me to help them with their homework... and I actually CAN!
* I am waiting to be the 1 in 10 million odds of winning the lottery jackpot.
* I am waiting for the Jetsons to come true... I want my own robot to cook and clean for me.
* I'm waiting for my body to stop growing and start shrinking instead. Okay, shrivel is more the word, but hey, if it will help me fit into my clothes better I don't care!
Okay, I have my sparkly, bobbly party hat on, I have my Corona, I have my Corona party shirt on.... I'm ready for some action! Lets bring in the New Year with a blast! (I even have a Corona peanut bucket that can double as a ... yucky bucket if anyone drinks too much!)
My New Year's Resolution: To stop procrastinating. That was my resolution last year too, but I procrastinated so much I've decided to make it this year's resolution instead!
The best thing that happened to me in 2004: I discovered AOL Journals. (my husband would probably list that as the worst thing that happened to him, but this isn't about him).
The Worst thing that happened to me in 2004: I guess it would have to be the grandbaby situation. I'm still praying to get a call saying that I'm a Grandmother.
I already know what I'm getting for Christmas... I'm getting my entire family home together, perhaps for the last time. The future saddens and frightens me, but Gabe will be home on Tuesday and that is cause for celebration. Who needs Christmas presents when you have Christmas presence? (okay, disregard that Steve, yes, you still have to get me a gift!)
Tomorrow I will write and send out my Christmas cards. Every year I pick out a day to do this annual, seasonal mailing. Every year I buy boxes of cards and books of stamps, and then every year I procrastinate so bad that its New Years before I ever sit down to address the envelopes, and by that time I usually decide that I may as well save the cards for next year... which I never do because I will have misplaced them long before the holiday comes around again. But this year will be different. This year I will actually send the cards out! The list of potential recipients grows daily as cards are delivered to the mailbox from more organized friends who were not on the original list... but thats okay, I have several years worth of cards stashed around the house, some even signed and addressed that can easily be recycled with a little bit of white-out. Yep, this year will be the year that people actually get a card from me. Just as soon as I find that book of stamps I just bought.....
My boys never really fought.... they were more like partners in crime. Even now, when one of them is angry, its generally about something my husband or I said or made them do (or NOT do), or its because of their sisters.
Ah, yes, the sisters.... Rebecca and Rachel, two of the sweetest little girls, with two of the most explosive temperments I have ever encounted in a person less than 5 foot tall! Actually Becca is probably about 5'1 now. She and Rocky fight like Bush and Kerry... its exhausting having to step between them and break it up all the time. Then, when I agree with one, suddenly I'm the bad guy and I find myself accused of loving the other sister more!
This morning I thought there was a break through, a hope for peace. Rocky was wrapping a Christmas gift for her big sister. It warmed my heart because usually I have to force her to do something nice for her sister, and here she was doing it on her own. Then, silly me, I had to ruin the moment by asking what it was.
'A lump of coal!' Rocky proclaimed proudly, displaying a charcoal briquette.
'Rocky NO!' I scolded. 'You can't give your sister a lump of coal!'
'Fine, then I'll give her 3!' she said with impish innocence.
'Rocky, I give the coal out around here, now put that away!'
Oh my Lord, what have I ever done to deserve this? Okay, don't answer that... just please have mercy on me... these little joys will be living with me for about 8 more years, just give me the strength to make it through. And then send some really nice and really patient guys their way so they can get married, move out and have lots of little girls JUST LIKE THEMSELVES!
Phew! Finally... a win! We can still make it, we can still do it! Got my fingers crossed, got my toes crossed, heck I've even got my eyes crossed! Got all kinds of goodluck charms, even got a lucky rabbit's foot. Hmmmm, I always wondered about those lucky rabbit's feet... sure wasn't too lucky for the rabbit if you think about it!
Rocky came home with a lucky rabbits foot last week, and while examining it she screamed... 'there's a bone! Its got a bone in it!' I looked at it and sure enough, there was a little piece of bone sticking out. "Well baby doll, it is after all a rabbit's foot, and feet do have bones in them." I told her. She suddenly got this horrified look on her face as it dawned on her for the first time what a lucky rabbit's foot was... "But what about the rabbit?" I couldn't help it..."Thats okay, he has 3 more!..... Oh come on Rocky, where did you think rabbits feet came from? Did you think they were born that way, just the feet?" Poor kid... she hasn't touched the good luck charm since then. Quite honestly I don't blame her, what a ghastly little trinket! Never did like them! They freak my dust bunnies out but it helps to keep them in line.
Ran out of coffee filters this morning. Actually I ran out of them yesterday, but nobody bothered to tell me so this morning when I tried to make a pot of coffee.... nada! Okay, I had a case of 1000 filters when we bought the Bunn-Omatic 2 years ago... thats only 730 days ago! Where are the other 270 filters? Surely I didn't make 2 pots that many days? That case should have lasted 3 years! Gracious, I think I really might have a caffeine problem here! Oh well, thank goodness for generic paper towels... they make excellent emergency coffee filters!
Unpaid Product Endorsement: Nestle's After Eight Hot Cocoa Mix. For those of you who have never had an After Eight mint, its a small, thin wafer of creamy mint covered with a thin coat of dark chocolate. Back in the old days these confections were so delicate that they would melt in your mouth. Now days they're a little firmer, but delicious none the less. The cocoa mix is a superb blend of rich, dark chocolate and cool mint, the perfect nightcap for a cold winter's night. And a cheap, quick gift.... a container of After Eight Cocoa ($2.34) a holiday mug ($1.00), a snak pak of Oreos (44¢) and a candy cane (5¢), stick it all in a cellophane gift bag, tie it with some curling ribbon and there you have it, a classy little gift that cost less than $4.00!
Okay, so I guess you might be wondering... am I really that cheap? Well,yes, yes I am! I work in a retail store as a supervisor to about 75 workers, and I work with over 100 others. I can't afford to be giving gifts to everyone, but for those that I work more closely with, those in my immediate shift, and those whom I've known pretty much since I started working at the store almost 6 years ago... I do give a little gift bag. For all of my cashiers I give a little 'goody bag' with a pak of tissue, some pens, safety pins, paperclips, bandaids, lotion and candy... it runs me about $1.50 a piece which doesn't seem like much until you consider that there are 59 cashiers! Its fun though, my kids help me make the bags, hopefully instilling upon them the importance of recognizing and appreciating those who work with or for you.... and the cashiers really seem to appreciate the little necessities.
Anyhow, I better get ready to go to work. The family (minus me... whaaaaa!) are going to the mountains to cut down a Christmas tree. Normally we do it as a family but Steve was pretty sick yesterday. I don't know yet how he's feeling now since he's still asleep, but this is their last chance to get the tree so they have to go today. How sad that we can't all be there, with Gabe gone and me having to work. Oh well, we'll all be together on the 21st. This picture was taken 2 years ago infront of the tree we took home. See Zack, the second from the right.... he's got a snowball in his hands that he smashed on his baby sister's head seconds after this picture was taken. Of course she didn't notice because she was already covered with snow! I don't know how we managed to get this picture taken and then drag the tree to the truck with a full blown snowball fight raging, but we did! Yep, thats the stuff memories are made of!
The Trans Siberian Concert Wednesday night was excellent! They had a spectacular light show to enhance an already outstanding musical show, complete with pyro-technics.... They saved the fire show til the last, which was good because the smoke got a little thick at the finale. It was a 2 and a half hour show... with no intermission, just a brief period when introductions were being made then on with the show. I think that was probably the longest my kids had ever sat together without fighting! For those who are not familiar with the Trans Siberian Orchestra, they are more of a rock band doing their adaptation of some classical music... And they include symphonic and orchestra instuments. The young woman on the electric violin was awesome, especially when she dueled with the electric guitar player. And the vocals.... oh my gosh the vocals! There are some very big voices singing with the group, and they are spectacular! If you have a chance to see them perform, do it! And take the kids if you can afford it, its definately something the whole family will enjoy.
I've been under the weather lately, or should I say 'over the throne' thanks to the Virus de jour. I surely must be wearing a permanent imprint of my toilet seat on my derriere by now. 5 pounds folks, I lost 5 pounds, thus proving that my Miracle Weight Loss Program does work, I just don't recommend this particular method cos my bum hurts and so does my innerds! I learned real quick how to do the Peptol Bismol Boogie ("Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea... Yeah! Pepto-Bismol!")
Dickidoo is going to be real mad at me when he wakes up. He kept making these weird noises while he was sleeping and I kept waking him up because I thought he was going to be sick or something. Finally he yelled 'I'm OK!'. I decided to sleep downstairs on the couch for 2 reasons.... First... if he DID get sick, I didn't want him to get sick on me. And secondly, he probably would have killed me if I woke him up again. That was scary though... we've been sleeping together for over 20 years now and I've NEVER heard him make that noise before. I was actually relieved when he yelled at me, at least I knew he was alive! Needless to say I'm letting him sleep in this morning. Maybe he will forget the interruptions.
Joke of the day:
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
(thank you for the joke PurpleCTigger!)
I posted these two pictures on my photoblog, but I thought this would be an appropriate time to post them here, in observance of anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. Thats Gabe and my dad, who retired to my mom's homestate of Hawaii after 20+ years in the Navy. As a teenager I lived just minutes away from Pearl Harbor, and we could see it from our back yard. I remember the very first time I ever cut out of school was to go to the Arizona Memorial with my brother. For some reason it had become very important for us to go to the memorial and when we heard that the tour was free we decided to risk getting caught and we didn't get off the bus when it passed the high school.
If you've never been to the Memorial it would be hard for me to explain the emotions that swell up when you step onto the memorial. Its a simple and yet beautiful structure built over the wreckage of the battleship. Looking over the side you can see parts of the ship under water, and if you look carefully you can even see oil droplets floating up from below. I thought of them as tears from the battleship for her crew. Did you know that over 900 crewmembers are still entombed underwater in the wreckage? While the dark tears rose from the ship below, my tears fell down to meet them. I've been to the memorial dozens of times, and I cry each and every time. The last time I went was two summers ago, with my own children. And yes, I cried again.
This is my first picture of Gabe in his uniform, I just got it in the mail today. I have to say it suits him. He's starting to look more and more like his father now. When he left I told him.... 'Don't look so serious when you take your picture, everyone always looks either mad or scared in their pictures from basic, try to look nice cos we'll be showing this to everyone for years to come!' I think he took a very nice picture, but then I'm his mom... ALL of his pictures are going to look nice to me!
Tis a sad day in Bronco Country. They've all but lost their chances at the play-offs and the Super Bowl. BUT its not over until its over, and IT AIN'T OVER YET!
My kids are running around getting ready for school right all, all except for Zack that is. I woke him up 40 minutes ago, I opened his door, greeted him in my best 'GET UP!' mommy voice, and switched on the light. I just checked on him... that boy had gotten up, switched the light OFF and climbed back into bed! He now has exactly 13 minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast and leave for school! Now, if he were like ME as a teenager, he would have gotten dressed in his school clothes before he climbed into bed last night so's all he would have had to do was to get up, use the bathroom, brush the teeth and hair, grab some breakfast and run... 5 minutes tops!
I shouldn't really be on right now, I'm supposed to getting ready for work, but I just wanted to share these with you... thats Diddl and his friends, aren't they cute? I found them while poking around in some German graphic sites. I could barely understand anything, but when I saw these guys I just fell in love with them. One of the sites I clicked on had an English link, which I have posted on my Favorite Sites column, go on, take a peek, you'll love them! Okay, now I'm off before Dickidoo shows up behind me and makes that annoying 'click, click' sound he makes just to irritate me when he thinks I've been on the computer too long....
We got a call from Gabe this morning, what a wonderful wake-up call. He was so excited because he got to shoot the big guns.... and he got to watch a claymore explode. Hmmmmm.... okay, he used to work in a boobie bar and got to watch beautiful girls dance neked... and he gave it up so he could do what? Aye ya yah! Kids, boys, MEN! I'll never understand them! Well, 2 more weeks and he'll be home for a bit. Then he'll be back in training until the end of February, and from there who knows! So I'll take what I can get. I guess there's a good chance he'll get stationed back here at Carson. Poor kid probably joined to get away from his parents... and now he may be working right down the street from us! Hahahahahahaha!
I just got the cutest email from one of my favorite people in the whole world, my oldest sister. I'm including part of it and I'll let you all decide if its genetic or not!
1. Why do farts stink? So deaf people can enjoy them too.
2. In case of emergency, find an out-of-the way place and fart - someone will most certainly appear out of nowhere.
3. Never ask me if I farted. If you had to ask, it definitely wasn't me.
Something NOT to do: If your'e wearing a night gown and no undies, don't bend over. When you stand up, you'll have a major wedgie.
I've been feeling very vulnerable lately. I just read a poem in SmarypantsJessie's Journal, and it just got me to bawling. This was my comment to her:
<My son is in Basic, he's learning to be a soldier. He wrote home one day and said 'Mom, I officially know how to kill a man'. What a horrific skill that a 20 year old should have to learn. But it may save his life, or the life of a buddy and so I write back...'Thats good', and I sealed the letter with tears. >
I should be shopping for 'Baby's 1st Christmas' stuff. I should be shopping for my grandbaby. I'm almost in tears when I pass by the infant department at work. I wondered if it were possible for my heart to hurt any more than it did when my son enlisted as a Calvary scout. Yes, yes it is possible for my heart to hurt more. I think it is breaking. I pray, Lord I pray that my grandbaby has been given the opportunity of life, it should be born on or around Christmas eve. The not knowing is devasting. I think my son would make an awesome father if given the opportunity. I know I would make a wonderful grandmother if given the opportunity... but that is beside the point. I know my grandbaby would make a wonderful person if given the opportunity. Please... please give it the opportunity! Sadly the only person who can make that happen is far away and will never hear or read these words.
Needless to say my mood has been very subdued lately, and getting worse by the day. Yesterday when I climbed into the car after lunch I saw a huge bird dropping on the windshield. Great! Just what I needed! In my disgust I switched on the wipers to clean it off... NO, WAIT! I need the spray! Too late! That bird-doo was smeared all over the windshield in a perfect arch! I hit the spray button, which was of little use by then since the stuffwas smeared all over the wiper blade! People were laughing at me from their cars as I drove down the road with my wipers going, my sprayer going, and an ever darkening rainbow of bird stuff smeared across the windshield! Pooh off, pooh on, pooh off, pooh on! Yeah people! Have a nice day! I hope a flock of geese do the Pepto Bismol Boogie over your car next!
* I am Okinawan.... I am only Indian by injection.
* 'Boobidoo', which is when your stomach sticks out farther than your boobies do!
* The life span of a dust bunny depends on the enviroment. For instance, a common dust bunny that inhabits my house thrives and tends to have a longer life span than one that would dwell in my sister's house.
* "My butt hurts, kiss it better?"
* 'Hi Mom, whats for supper?' I almost reply 'fingernails, boogers and spit', but the neighbors are out and I don't want them to think that I feed my kids the same thing EVERY night.
* This morning I was in the girls bathroom and found myself having to duckwalk around the bathroom looking for scraps on the discarded cardboardtoilet paper tubes just so I could wipe!
* One year I got a note from my son's teacher stating that I hadn't sent in the tissue. I wrote back to her... Oh thats okay, he doesn't use tissue, he uses his teeshirt. She did not ask for the tissue again. Now if they asked for toilet paper, well, that I could understand.
* If the hair on your legs is starting to poke through your jeans and dustbunnies stick to you like velcro then it is time to shave your legs.
* All of their fancy, modern toys were strewn all over the house and they were running up and down the stairs, chasing each other with the long empty wrapping paper tubes, swinging them like swords, shooting pingpong balls from them, or trumpeting out a melody. And I was right there with them, waving my wrapping paper tube over my head like a warrior princess with a bent sword, with my calico ribbon crown sitting lopsided on my head.
* I went grocery shopping after work last night. I was in a bad mood to begin with, thanks to my head ache. Having to fork out $90 didn't help matters. And for what, biodegradable products that we will consume only to 'exhume' at the end of our digestive cycle and flush down the toilet? Is that what I work for... the production of solid waste?
Note: Click on the asteriks to link to the original entries.
Yesterday I made my very first 911 call. The operator answered '911 operator, what is your emergency?' so I told her.... I gave my location, then informed her that one of my customers had fallen and hit her head against a shelf. She was laying on the floor, obviously bleeding from the back of her head, while a huge knot was forming on her forehead, and she was having what appeared to be a seizure.
The operator freaked! She started yelling over the phone for me to be calm, and she kept making me repeat everything, insisting that I not hang up on her, to stay with her. Oh my gosh, this was probably her first real emergency call, I know they get dozens of calls from kids or miss-dials from cell phones. Suddenly I found myself trying to calm the operator down... 'Yes mamame I'm still here... yes mamame, I'll still at the same location... No mamame, I'm not going to hang up...'. I'll bet she was relieved when the EMTs arrived and took over the situation. She'll be fine I'm sure... the patient that is. I'm not so sure about the operator, she probably needed to get out and unwind or something, poor thing. I would really put money on it being her first emergency call. She had 2 different squads there in about 5 minutes though, hows that for service? A job well done by all!
Someone busted me buying 10 packets of Koolaid today. It was my friend's husband. 'So, you drink Koolaid, do you?' Well, that was a dumb question! 'No, I drink Corona, but I don't like to share so I buy the kids Koolaid!'. But you know what.... when I was a kid we used to get the Koolaid packets and dip our fingers into them and suck the flavor off. My mom used to wonder where all the Koolaid would disappear, but she never said anything about our red, orange, green and purple fingers. I tried it recently, ewwwww! That stuff is so sour I don't know how I could stand it back then!
911 and Christmas sign by FlamingText
I have decided to close my Mad Cashier Diary to eliminate the risk of being a suspected of misrepresenting the company I work for. I have read stories of other journalists and bloggers being reprimended or even terminated by their company for writing about their on-the-job experiences... and I would rather not have to deal with that. I will however move some of my entries (non-incriminating) over, so if you've already read them, I apologize for the repetition. Dorn
Diary of a Mad Cashier, June 1, 2004:
I think the weirdest thing I've ever sold at my register was a hog's head. It was special ordered for a customer and came wrapped in a clear plastic bag. I grabbed it and laughed, telling the customer I had thought at first that it was a pig's head... and then about screamed because it WAS a pig's head. Note to self: do not accept dinner invitation from that customer!
One day an old lady came through my express lane with only 3 items... Preparation H, K-Y jelly and a box of Trojans. She had to have been at least 70! I hope I still have a use for Trojans and KY when I'm 70.
An obviously very pregnant young lady came in with her male friend, also purchasing condoms. I smiled as I handed the bag with their purchase to the woman and offered this advice... "Actually its a little late for those honey!" She hit me with the bag... but only because she knew me! I still tease her about that one.
The saddest thing I see, and I see it often, is people who have to use oxygen purchasing cigarettes. I know its a hard habit to break so I'll just leave it at that.
Last night I came home from work and found that Steve had taken it upon himself to do supper. It was salad night! I love salad! We try to have a salad night about once a week. I've been fortunate in the fact that all of my children enjoy their vegetables. I had arrived home late so it was just Steve and Rebecca still at the table. Rebecca was doing her homework while munching on a big bag of popcorn.
'Did you eat?' I asked her as I made my salad. She just made an 'mmmmmhhhhmmmmm' sound without looking up from her book. 'A salad? Cos I KNOW that popcorn isn't your supper!' This time she did look up and she gave me one of those looks that kids give their parents when they can't believe how stupid their parents are....
'Popcorn is corn, corn is a vegetable, salad is vegetables... I'm eatting popcorn salad.'
Okay, I know when I've been beaten. It took me a minute to shut my gaping mouth and then I just ate my salad in silence, trying to think of some intelligent remark that would support my belief that popcorn wasn't really a vegetables but for that I would have to wait until later to consult the internet. My kids are not like me at all, they are better and worse than me at the same time... And for that I am afraid... I am VERY afraid!
Broncos slipped on the snow... 25-24 Raiders! Whaaaaaaa! This was the game we were planning on going to but opted out when we started planning for a trip to Kentucky to pick up Gabe. We don't have to drive to Kentucky after all being as Gabe will be flying back here... but I sure am glad I was in my nice warm den watching the game instead of being out there in the cold. I suppose it would have been different had they won... but as it turned out I was happy just be be able to watch the game for a change.
Somebody called me a redneck. They were trying to get back at me because of my choice of candidate for the presidential election. I couldn't even pretend to be offended. I was then accused of being too dumb to realize that I was being insulted. I'm sorry, but that was about as insulting to me as calling a ball round! It was kind of funny though. I always refer to myself as a redneck and a hillbilly, but I've never been called one to my face.
And speaking of rednecks... hey Dickidoo... farting is NOT considered a prelude to sex! Nowhere in any book, not even the Redneck's guide to Sex... does it say that butt-gas is a turn on... it is NOT! It is NOT foreplay! So don't even try to get some when the scent is still hanging over the bed. Some things just can't be done while holding your breath! I remember farting once... I couldn't help it, it was actually Dickidoo's fault, he knocked it out of me. That was it, I was too humiliated to go on. And him? I don't think he even noticed! Maybe he did... hmmmm, maybe I was wrong. Maybe it IS a turn-on!
I get the AOL Skywatcher Alerts, and today I got a message stating that tonight was a full moon. And not just any full moon, but a Full Beaver Moon! Okay, I'm not even guess on that one! Now I'll admit, I am superstitious to a certain degree, and full moon madness is one superstition that I believe in. There may not be any scientific data to support it, but I have worked in retail for over a decade and I have noticed a trend. People really do get crazy when there is a full moon! Today was bad enough with the after-Thanksgiving shopping frenzy, but to top it off with a full moon just made it worse! I'm thinking the name 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' is an apt name for a day like today. I got up way too early, had way too little sleep, my caffeine levels were dangerously low and people were just nuts. But I didn't get arrested or fired, and I got the last laugh.... I had all of their money, and they went home with stuff they didn't want... they just bought it all because it was on sale! Ahhhhh woooooooo!
May the day and those that follow be full of blessings for you and yours. All my best, Dorn and Family.
* A federal judge denied a recount petition submitted by Green Party presidential candidates Cobb and Badnarik to recount the Ohio votes. The duo had received an unofficial count of .026 percent. I don't get it.... WHY?! Did they really think they would uncover the 270 electorial votes to win?
* There is a petition going to get the natural born citizen requirement for presidency amended so that Governor Swartzenegger can run for office in the future. I think he stands a better chance of running for Miss America, but hey, I'm not putting money against either! I just don't think its right.
* Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. But today I was thankful.... thankful that I didn't have to go home to all those grumpy last minute shoppers who were so upset about the long wait in the long lines, as if they felt they and they alone were allowed to procrastinate over buying the ingredients for the big dinner that they have had a year to prepare for. Hello people! Thanksgiving comes once a year, every year, and at the same time every year! You are not the only person in the country who celebrates the holiday, and obviously you are not the only person who waits until the last fricken minute to buy your stuff... so get over it! You snooze, you loose! Good grief! All that fussing and cussing kind of takes the sincerity out of the occasion. Just be thankful you can even afford a dinner and have family and friends to share it with... don't take it out on the folks working at the store you chose to shop at along with all the other last minute shoppers. Yep.... I sure am glad I didn't have to go home to those grumps! I got hugs and kisses when I finally walked in the house. And for that I was sincerely thankful!
Okay, the Broncos have definately gotten their groove back. They whooped New Orlean's butt 34 - 13 on Sunday. I even got to watch some of it during my break. My boss insists that I work on Sundays... I don't understand because he is a big time Broncos fan himself... but at least one of the managers kept me up to date with the score... that was cool.
I have had a slight reprieve in my eviction... I still have papers and junk strewn all over the computer room floor so Zack has not been able to move in just yet. My computer is still in tact. No folks, I am not typing in the bathroom.... yet! I may have to clear off the vanity and set up shop there though... right next to the pocket yahtzee! Hey, that wouldn't be so bad. Sometimes the only time I get up from the computer is to use the bathroom. But if I were already sitting on the toilet... I'd NEVER have to get up! I can put the cpu under the counter, the printer on the towel shelf, set the monitor on the counter (its one of those skinny monitors with a flat screen) ... put a swivel seat on the toilet... oh the possibilities!
32 days until Christmas !
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