Thursday, January 27, 2005

RHETORIC

They call me 'lazy'.  I say I'm just 'being energy efficient'.

They call me 'fat', I prefer 'curvacious'...

They call me 'old', but in fact I am 'experienced'.

They say I'm 'forgetful', but I'm merely 'inspiring' them to think for themselves.  I could tell them the answers, but they would lose out on the first hand experience! 

They call it 'gluttony', I call it 'storing for the winter'.

They say I 'gamble', I call it 'high risk investments'.

They say I have 'vices', I like to think of it as being 'addicted to happiness'.

They criticize my 'consistent tardies and absentee-ism', when in reality they should thank me for my 'payroll conservation'.

They score me negatively for 'delinquent payments', when in fact my late fees are 'guaranteed profit'.

They call me 'rude', I think I'm just 'honest' (and sometimes the truth hurts, baby!)

They call it 'speeding', I call it 'a sence of urgency'.

They call it 'lack of willpower', I call it 'letting nature take its course'.

From my point of view folks, I'm reallyquite the model citizen.  No need to change my ways to better myself, I'm already PERFECT!

14 comments:

dcmeyer420 said...

I love it! I agree with you on all counts. I may just make my own perfect rationale for all the character flaws people nitpick me for too. Let me know how you want your royalty for this great idea. It's going to be proliferated.

plittle said...

<<They call me 'rude', I think I'm just 'honest'>>

Hmmm, that seems familiar to me.
-Paul
http://journals.aol.ca/plittle/journal3/
(cowboy poetry)

mumma4evr said...

They score me negatively for 'delinquent payments', when in fact my late fees are 'guaranteed profit'.

yup yup yup...I think I will tell the next bill collector that!  LOL

jcole16757 said...

I can relate to a couple listed!

melissajbird said...

love this entry

purplectigger said...

I'm with you. Why mess with perfection.
Have a good day.
R.C.

anarchitek said...

Funny!  I didn't realize there were so many valid explanations for my many moods...LOL  Great entry, it's good to laugh at ourselves!  

kkaylynn said...

Oh, wow...I love it.  Kay

butterflygherl said...

They call it 'speeding', I call it 'a sence of urgency'.
~~~~~~~~~

I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying - and there's a difference. LOL I loved the entry!!

Hugs,
Susan

astaryth said...

ROFL.... Right as always!!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind

bosoxblue6993w said...

They call me 'a smart-ass butt-wipe'.  I like to think of it as 'intelligent bathroom tissue'.

piperacharmed1 said...

LOL...thanks for the laugh!! I can use alot of these   : )
Tracie

rwsgirl2029 said...

Love the entry.  You make my stomach hurt from all the laughter!  Thanks for starting my day off with giggles!  Beth-Ann http://journals.aol.com/rwsgirl2029/ItsMyLilWorld

cneinhorn said...

cute!  thanks for the laughs!

~JerseyGirl
http://journals.aol.com/cneinhorn/WonderGirl