Wednesday, June 29, 2005

THE CONTRACT and melon overload.

I was busy in the diningroom sewing costumes yesterday afternoon when I heard all kinds of giggles coming from the livingroom.  Now I don't know about most parents, but in this house I get very nervous when I hear giggles.  Silence is worse... but giggles usually indicates Michief in Progress!  I looked over and saw my nephew sitting in front of his sister and cousin, with their feet thrust in front of his face.

'Massage our feet!  Now!  And don't tickle them, massage them!'  The poor boy complied for all of a minute before he shoved the girls feet down and ran down the stairs.  Naturally they followed, quoting the contract that had been signed a few days earlier.  He ignored them and they came up tattling, and scheming.  An hour later he decided he wanted to ride the bike bad enough to honor the contract but this time I put my foot down and voided the contract all together.  Naturally I am the bad guy now, but my nephew doesn't realize that I may have saved his life.  They may be miniature females, but they are still female and no male is safe when they start running in packs.  There is no telling what they would have demanded of him next.

I got a lesson on how babies are born last night after supper.  The littlest Oompa went into great detail on how she was pulled from her mama's bottom.  Heck, if I had to deliver my babies by pulling them from my bottom I probably would have stopped before I had 5 of them myself!  Ouch!

Little Rocky woke up sick this morning.  She says its the stomach flu, I say its probably a clogged pipe.  She ate more watermelon yesterday than is healthy for a human her size.  She proudly showed me each and ever cleanly chewed rind as she finished them yesterday.  I warned her then that if she ate too much of the rind that she would get sick.  When will they ever start listening?  And now I know the other side effects the melon has on her kind, so I am suspecting that she has a blockage somewhere and is suffering from some kind of overload.  Tell you what, I don't want to be anywhere near by when she finally clears the obstruction. 

I am wondering if it is just a coincidence thatthere are so many earth quakes in California this summer right at the start of watermelon season.  Just for fun I'm predicting a tremor in Southern Colorado sometime this afternoon.


mumma4evr said...

LOL I am sure the farts at your house are causing the earthquakes!

sdoscher458 said...

Shake, rattle & roll baby....LOL....Sandi

princesssaurora said...

Beware the littlest of farters...they are often the most deadly!!!

My ds8 is like weapons grade military issue gas ready to go at any moment!!!

Be well!


brandyp0509 said...

You crack me up but I forgot my ice cream so I brought a sour Bombpop instead, lol.  I love your style for sure.  I am with ya on the whole pulling them from the bottom thing, Lord if I would have had to do that, I don't think my 4 would be here either, that sounds way too painful, lol.  Brandy

swmpgrly said...


vortexgirl said...

I actually think it would be easier to pull a baby out of my butt.  That's easy for me to say considering my daughter was c-section.  My booger girl farts a lot too and makes her father laugh cause he thinks this will keep her from ever getting a date.  

mechants said...

"I don't want to be anywhere near by when she finally clears the obstruction."

Oh, oooooooooooooouch! Poor doll! I will never think of watermelon the same way again. ;)


kdemcz said..., ma'am are my kind of woman!!! When my daughter was little she called it "wadre me lemon" which has become the word of choice now for about 17 years every time summer rolls around....Fabulous!! Now go enjoy your kids!!!