Thursday, June 2, 2005

MY WORST BAD HAIR DAY, Weekend Assignment

I went to a ball before, it was a Unit Ball when my husband was still active duty.  It wasn't just the usual dining out, it was a BALL!  And I was expected to wear a gown or formal, there would be no blue jeans for this party.  I had never been to a ball before and in fact I hadn't even been to a high school prom, so I was very excited.

My husband bought me a beautiful purple lace 2 piece formal skirt outfit.  It was the most beautiful outfit I had ever worn besides my wedding dress.  I wanted to do my hair up, but the last time I had my hair done it cost $72 for a do that wilted half way through the party, so I decided to do a temporary home perm.  I bought the rollers, the solution, and got to work.  Unfortunately when your hair is 3 feet long it takes a long LONG time to set.  Hours later my husband had to help out because I thought my arms were going to drop off.

So, while I'm waiting for my hair to dry, I began to get ready.  Next thing on the list, press on nails!  I use super glue to make sure they stay on good, and then I polished the nails a deep wine color that matched my outfit.  Next came the application of the prefab face.  That went on without a hitch and I was actually ahead of schedule, which was good being as I was about to encounter every problem in the book.

Did you know that it is almost impossible to put on control top panty hose with press-on nails?  I learned that the hard way.  In the end I had to enlist the help of my husband.  I went through 2 pairs due to popping holes from my perfect plum colored Lees.  And... if I thought rolling my hair was hard, I was about to experience something even worse... UNROLLING my hair!  After the last curler was removed I looked like Bozo the clown!  I tried wetting down my hair but it hardly made a difference.  It didn't help that my husband stood by barely able to contain his laughter.  I would have cried if I wasn't afraid of streaking my layers of Maybelline.  I had the biggest, wildest, highest afro I had ever seen!  Link from the Mod Squad would have been jealous.

I cemented my hair with a mixture of mousse, spritz, gel and hairspray, and then anchored it with barettes.  The end result was rock-hard and flamable but it looked well groomed and intentional so I still went to the hotel feeling good about myself.  We sat with people I had never met before, but I had on my Lee Press-on nails, my highly combustible hairdo and I felt mahvalous !  I ate my dinner in between animated conversations in which I waved my hands and flashed my beautiful nails.  Towards the end of the meal I excused myself to go to the restroom.  When I moved to wash my hands I saw to my complete dismay that my nails were full of baked potatoes and sour cream from my dinner.  Not being used to the extra length of my new nails I had evidently gouged the spud on my plate more than once and was no doubt flashing it around the table during my dinner conversation.  No wonder everyone was laughing.  And there I was thinking I was being witty.

Some people were never intended to dress up and step out.  I am one such person.  I can handle jeans and a button-down shirt but anything fancier invites disaster.  As for my hair, well, it hangs in a long pony tail most of the time now.  If I feel sophisticated I'll braid it or twirl it up in a bun, but I avoid curlers at all cost!

Weekend Assignment #62: Hairstyles from Hell

19 comments:

sdoscher458 said...

Oh you looked great!  I know from experience getting all gussied up to feel like a queen for a day....instead you feel like a damn fool.  It takes me back...I have to see if I have any pictures on line of my "horrendous" hair days....Dorn you made me laugh....Sandi  http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/PoeticJourneyOfTheSoul

jcole16757 said...

I don't think your hair looks bad at all.  Actually it looks very nice!

rashgirl13 said...

I love your style!  That sounds like something that would happen to me, so I usually do the same!  Nice to know there are kindred spirits out there!

gardenmantis said...

Add to that list high heels! I have never nor do I ever plan to wear them! They look great and I would love to be able to wear them but they just aren't tennies are they!
Mary

brandyp0509 said...

I think you look beautiful! It could have been worse though. I went to one homecoming and my best friend went with my boyfriend's (at the time) best friend so that we could all go together. Well we got all floozied up, her with the press on's, me fortunately I could grow them then, not now with all the cleaning products and water, lol but anyway we went to a VERY, VERY nice restaurant and while we are having dinner and chatting away she is gestering like a mad woman when she banged her hand against this little divider thing sending four of the five press ons flying across the restaurant.  She turned every shade of red imaginable and then finally white while I laughed like a psycho crazy person and eventually had to get up from the table and run out of the restaurant as I became totally hysterical over it.  You could put someone's eye out, lol!!

swmpgrly said...

I think we have all been there at some point...lol

gifdude said...

Very nice pic of you and husband!

Is your husband still in the Army?

Gifdude
http://hometown.aol.com/gifdude/39andholding

mumma4evr said...

have you ever heard of a wt perm...I had one doen for my prom...you wet your hair and put the perm rods and papers in...then dry your hair. my hair was half way down my back before the perm...and it was a tight stuck to my head poodle perm......thanksfully I could wash it out!
Becky

sunnyside46 said...

you really looked pretty
no one would ever know of your trauma from the pic
i know how you feel
every mardi gras ball i have ever been to involved coming home with my shoes in my hand
marti
http://journals.aol.com/sunnyside46/MidlifeMusings

demandnlilchit said...

You still looked beautiful Dorn! I totally understand flamable hair......I had to avoid any open flame during my aquanet days! lol lol lol

loveladylisa1 said...

Control top panty hose and nails, geesh can I relate to that one!
Lisa

domesticatedchic said...

Yeah those press on 's can be a B#$%^.. I gave up wearing those things longgg agoooo.. lol*
Melaney

http://journals.aol.com/domesticatedchic/SomethingLikeLifePartDeux

shelt28 said...

You look great. Like they say.....Beauty is Pain   :)

http://journals.aol.com/shelt28/MyLife

kissofvanity said...

Rock-hard, flamable hair.  You are too funny!

Ana~

aiibrat said...

i think you did awesome w/your hair.  i don't think i would've been able to do what you did.  i think the picture of you and your hubby is marvelous! -=)

cladybake said...

I loved reading your story, it made me feel like I was there, and not to worry you looked great...as they say every picture tells a story and I for one am very glad you shared yours.

koolkatmissy said...

:3 After this I don't I'll ever go to anything formal, lol. Don't worry, you look pretty in the picture.

purplectigger said...

I agree with you , I'm not much for dressing up. Great story.
Hugs R.C.

krazishyone said...

I feel your pain here.LOL
No matter how much time I take to make myself "look" great...well there is always the situation of losing that nail that the "super glue" didn't adhere to.thanks for not filing the oil of the nail.dang forgot about that one nail.and of course it has to be the "middle " finger.LMAO , and as for the hair.I can take 2 hours working on it for it to end up in a stupid ponytail...you can take the girl out of the country.,...but can't take the country outta the girl...

stix to the jeans and button down.Go mama!!