Monday, April 17, 2006


My day started off well yesterday.  As predicted, the store was packed with last minute shoppers scrounging through the quickly depleting stock of Easter merchandise in search of a thoughtfully chosen gift.  Only one person complained to me about the poor selection and I apologized to her for waiting until the last minute to announce the date for Easter this year.  I promised that next year we would give her one year's notice, giving her ample time to plan and prepare.  Satisfied with the result of her complaint, she began to walk away then stopped and looked back at me with a slightly puzzled look, but her husband chuckled and pulled her in the direction of the exit.

When I returned from my break I was hidden on the very last register near the far entrance, coincidence?  By then the traffic had slowed down considerably and I entertained myself with a self-inflating whoopy cushion that was left by a customer.  Customers gave me surprised looks and avoided my register.  I scolded nearby cashiers and managers after particularly musical outbursts.  Eventually a disgusted co-worker confiscated the rubber toy from me and I was forced to find an alternate means of entertainment.

Have you ever watched people when they are checking out on the self check-outs?  They talk to the machines, cuss at them, try to reason with them, argue with them, kick and hit them.  Yesterday one woman hit the [HELP] button and demanded to know where she was to put her items so the machine could bag them.  When she was informed that she would have to bag the merchandise herself, she became angry and tossed her purchases into the bags... as if it would hurt my feelings that she dented her canned goods or crushed her bread.

My intentions for Easter dinner had been good, but after some saddening news I suddenly found that I was in no mood for festivities.  We snacked on hardboiled eggs.  Later, I made a deadly concoction of leftover French fries topped with Cheddar cheese, blue cheese dressing and Franks hot sauce.  I grabbed a beer and stuffed a slice of lime down into the bottle.  Unfortunately that was right about the time my allergies decided to attack my eyes.

Never... EVER rub your eyes after stuffing a lime slice down into your bottle of beer.  And when you realize your mistake, don't try to rub the lime juice out of your eye with your other hand, especially when it has a little bit of Frank's hot sauce on it.  Agh!  I hate when I do that!

So today could only get better right?

Dickidoo woke me up at 6am with a cup of coffee.  It was sooooo premeditated.  He knew that I had the day off, and the kids didn't have to go to school... and he knew I would have hit him if he wasn't holding a cup of coffee over me.  He claims that he forgot, but I know better.... Heck, I would have done the same thing had we switched positions! 


princesssaurora said...

Well, the cup of coffee was worth it right? lol

be well,

am4039 said...

I swear I don't think I could ever work at a store. People would drive me crazy.

globetrotter2u said...

"I apologized to her for waiting until the last minute to announce the date for Easter this year"- that was a classic Dorn, a real classic!

Sounds like your days are never boring. Hope you had a blessed Easter.


wumzels2 said...

you seem to get away with what i want to do each and every day i work in retail.  but my boss seems to think i am already too much of a smarta**, so he would probably fire me if i said that to a customer..........hey, getting fired doesn't sound so bad..............mmmmmmmmmmm.  glad you had the gonads to do that though.  and shame on that fellow employee who took away your entertainment.  bad bad employeeeeee!!!!!!!!  thanks for cheering me up a wee bit.  i know i can always count on your journal to do just that.......usually more than just a wee though..............keep it coming girlfriend..........