Lemonade

My mom gave me a recipe for homemade bubble solution that can be mixed up by the gallon using Joy dish detergent, glycerin and water.  I mixed up a bunch for the kids and stored it in a plastic milk jug out in the garage.

Sometime later the kids were all complaining about the lemonade and how it tasted like soap.  I was totally baffled because I didn't recall buying or making any lemonade.  I went to the frige and there was the gallon jug of bubble solution!  Steve later admitted that he found it in the garage and thought I had left it there by accident so he put it in the refrigerator with the other juice.  It was lemon scented so nobody thought anything was wrong until they took a swig!  They didn't realize it was soap until I told them, they just thought it was bad lemonade!  Well, they all had the cleanest mouths in town that night!

Here Kitty!

My kids have always wanted a cat, but we have not had one since leaving Germany.  One late summer evening the whole family was outside our house talking with friends when the younger kids ran over and excitedly informed me that there was a 'kitty' in the back yard.  I just smiled and continued with my conversation and the kids took off to the back yard again.  Our yard was completely fenced in so we didn't worry about them being in the back while we were in the front.  We could hear the laughter and giggling and were not in the least bit worried.  Besides we knew all the cats in the neighborhood and they were all friends of ours who would stop by on BBQ nights for scraps.

The laughter in the back continued for quite a while.  We could hear the children running from one side of the yard to the other, up the hill and down.  At first I was amazed that the cat was humoring them for so long, but decided that after about 45 minutes the poor creature was probably worn out so I called the kids to the front.

"But mommy, the kitty!" they protested.  That poor cat was probably so frazzled by now that if they did catch it, it would probably scratch the heck out of the kids, so I sent them into the house to clean up for bed.

It was about 2am when I was awaken by an awful smell.  Our window was wide open and the overpowering, suffocating scent of a skunk filled the air.  Gagging, I shut the window, but sleep was out of the question.  A skunk in the neighborhood?  Impossible!  As I lay in bed, trying to filter the smell by breathing through my pillow, I felt a growning suspicion.  As soon as the children woke up I ran to their room.

'What did the kitty look like?'  I asked, 'What color was it?'

'Black!'

I found our Division of Wildlife Hunters Ed book and opened it to the animal identification section.  "Show me the kitty" I instructed my youngest son.  He casually turned the pages then pointed to a color sketch.  "Kitty!" my daughter squealed with excitement.  "Kitty" was a skunk!

Why that creature didn't spray them that night while they chased it across the yard for almost an hour I'll never know. It would take a full day for the air around the house to clear, butI never complained about the smell because I knew it could have been worse, much worse!  And yes, the kids got a quick course on how skunks are not kitties, and why we should not chase them!

The Night of the Bat

While living in Ansbach we occupied the 4th floor of a leased housing apartment complex.  The apartment was very spacious and I loved it except for the fact that there were no window screens or security bars on the windows.  In the hot summer, without airconditioning, we were forced to open the windows, leaving our apartment open to anything that flew.  Never having lived in anything higher than a 2 story house, I quickly learned that mosquitoes can either fly as high as a 4 story window, or know how to use the elevator.  Either way they made me into an All-U-Can-Eat buffet all summer.  And there was something about the mosquitoes there that left festering welts bigger than my boobs!

My second summer there found me very pregnant.  I was seeing a German doctor, a wonderful gentleman who wasn't one bit concerned that I had gained 35 pounds by my 8th month.  He gave me a due date of August 19.

August 19, 1989  4:30 am.  I wake suddenly.  Before I know whats happening Steve swears, sits up and tosses something across the room.  I hear the cat yeow just before a crash against the wall.  I just know Steve has killed the cat, but why?  Something swoops by my face.  Steve hollers and jumps up.  The cat has recovered from the loss of one of his lives and is back on the bed, hissing and howling, claws raking me through the sheet.  Is it a moth?  I ask.  That ain't no moth!  Steve says.  BAT!

So Steve gets this great idea.... use the bats sonar to guide it to the window!  The bat has the advantage in the dark so
Steve turns on the light, then stands on the bed, holding up the sheet to create a barrier for the bats sonar to bounce off of.  When I finally get over the shock I just took in the scene and laughed!  There was Steve, naked as the day he was born, holding up the sheet and running around the room after the tiny flying creature while Pondo the inbred farm cat was jumping off of all of the furniture like a rabid animal, and all infront of the wide open window, lights blaring, for the whole neighborhood to see! Between Steve and Pondo, the bat was eventually pursuaded to vacate the premises... either that or it didn't like the scenery!  Either way, it left.  Steve and Pondo collapsed on thebed like conquering heros.  I just sat there laughing so hard I put myself into labor.  Arthur Lyle was born later that day.  Now, when ever I see a bat I am reminded of that night, and it always brings a smile to my face.  I secretly believe Steve is really creeped out by bats, but how can I be afraid of something that brings back such halarious memories?

500 hits!

Woooo Hoooo!  500 hits!  Okay, 478 were from me, but man that looks nice on the counter!

Domestic Sculptures

Its my day off again and here I sit, contemplating the day's agenda.  It starts off with a cup of coffee, reheated this morning because I still have left-overs from yesterday's 2nd pot...

I think today I will work on art.  My house is full of domestic sculptures... tall abstract towers of dishes painted with various hues and textures of meals-gone-by, and woven mounds of clothes that dare you to scratch-n-sniff to determine the age of that particular piece.

Tuesday, that is the day that the gallery sends a truck over to pick up some of my older works.  I'll just set them out on the curbside for him to transport to the great Landfill Showcase.  Sometimes he refuses to let me part with a particular piece of art and he will shake his head and set it back down on the curb and drive off.  I appreciate his concern but I have no further use for the art and I just disguise it for next weeks pickup. 

I look at the desk infront of me and smile at the eclectic collection of works in progress.  Maybe I'll concentrate on them instead.  The sculptures can wait until the weekend. 

Graceful Aging

People are always telling me that I look good for my age, especially after having 5 kids.  I look at them and gasp!  Goodness, if 'this' is good, just how old do they think I am?  My hair is down to my butt, which is much lower nowdays than it used to be, but not to worry, because my sagging boobs keep me balanced and a-semetrical.  I have a new joint in my neck, its called my double-chin.  I am proud of the fact that while the underside of my arms wave back everytime I raise them, I've not yet been knocked out by the swinging relaxed muscle mass.  My friends are constantly bugging me about my 36" long whitehairs, but when my daughter innocently declares that I have 'blonde hair', I have to agree with her.  Am I old?  Not at all, I'm 'Experienced'!  Heck, if I were a car, I'd be a classic!

Mother's Day

I was just sitting here thinking about Mother's Day, which is right around the corner (hint hint!)  and all the wonderful memories I have collected over the years.  Now Mother's Day never used to be a big deal in my house.  My husband was not raised in a very celebrating type of family due to finances so he just never really saw the importance in giving gifts for any occasion, and when he did, they were often gifts purchased for practical reasons rather than sentiment.  The first mother's day gift I can remember was my first microwave... and I was already the mother of 4! 

He's gotten much better now.  I receive gifts for every other occasion, if I get a birthday present this year, chances are he'll forget next year.  Last mother's day he outright asked me what I wanted and later that day he purchased a beautiful pocket watch for me... the kind that you can see through to the clock-works inside!

The best gift came a few years ago, and completely took me by surprise.  I was told to sleep in.  It was 10 am before I was let out, and allowed to sit at a fully set brunch table.  After a wonderful breakfast I was given a large flat package wrapped in brown paper.  The children had decorated it with drawings and mother's day wishes.  It was beautiful.  I carefully untaped it so I could save the paper.  What I found inside made me cry.

Many years ago, while in high school, I was instructed to make a batik, which is a picture made from dye and wax.  I had won an art contest before for this type of art work, so I put my heart into this piece in hopes of winning again.  The first piece had been abstract and half hearted, but it had won, so I was sure that the new piece... won I was putting my heart and soul into, would surely do as well if not better.  I was wrong and the landscape didn't even make honorable mention in the school, let alone make it to the national contest.

I kept the piece of cloth folded up and in a box of junk that I carried from house to house after I married.  Occasionally while going through the box I would recall the disappointment, but the cloth remained in the box... Until our last move, when my husband discovered it again.  And just before Mother's Day he took it to the frame shop and had them frame it.

So he gave me a piece of my own art work, big deal right?  Right!  His gesture showed to me that he understood what I had put into that piece of art and how important it had been to me at the time.  And because it was important to me, it became important to him.  And that is part of what makes that big knuckle head so special to me.

Now, my favorite gift from the kids has to be from our first year in North Carolina.  We had just move there and still had boxes laying around the house.  My oldest boy who was probably just 5 or 6 at the time, wanted to give me a gift for mother's day other than the plant he had brought home from school... so he went outside with his little brother to find me a present.  I called them into the house a short while later.  They got awfully quite in the livingroom/dining room so I went to check on them.  I heard them scurry around but they were innocently sitting at their little table when I walked in.  That immediately made me suspicious, but before I could say a word, something caught my eye.  I walked over to the box that I had seen a movement and picked up a glove sitting on the top.  And out popped two toads!  I screamed with surprise... I'm not afraid of them, but I wasn't exactly expecting these bug-eyed creatures to jump out of the glove!

My boys cried with disappointment and I spent the next hour reasuring them that I loved their mother's day present, and that just because I was putting them back outside, they would always be my special pets!  Of course I had to name them first, and after that we called every toad we found in the yard by their names.  The boys never seemed to notice that Huck and Tom were constantly changing size and color!

Computer Room Make-over

Okay, I've finally decided that its time to redo this computer room.  This is my hide-away room when its not a dumping ground for extra junk while we're having visitors.  Its clear right now only because my brother-in-law spent a week with us earlier in the month and slept in here. 

The thing is, this is my room, and yet it is so totally NOT ME!  The walls are covered with the original foofy pastel sage and peach wallpaper that existed when we move in, and the curtains are a coordinating baby mint green.  Eewwwww!  The carpet is absolutely prehistoric, and is stained from when the room flooded after the sprinkler was turned on next to the open window one summer when it was a storage room, and the damage was not discovered until a week or two later.  Unfortunately it now bears the colors of soggy construction paper and the various hues of mildew.

Call in those Queer Eye dudes cos this room sucks!  Okay, the stuff inside it is kind of cool, even though my husband hates my Coca Cola table and has given it to my son for when he finally comes to collect his stuff before moving out of town (whaaaaaaahhhh!  my baby is growing up and moving away.... FAR awayyyyyy!!!).

I'm getting a new desk, and a set of bookcases... a trade my husband is willing to make in exchange for getting rid of the Coca Cola eyesore (it really is a nice table set... I think he just doesn't like it because he didn't buy it!).  The color scheme is going to hard to choose though.  My room is a weird collection of Coca Cola, teddy bears (I don't officially collect teddy bears, I just have a bunch of really cute ones), fairies, time pieces, dragons and antiques like gumball machines and a vintage Royal typewriter.  Hmmmmm, okay, so nothing really goes together here, but such is my life!  My bobble-heads are either agreeing with me or disagreeing... I'm really not sure since their heads go up and down, but sway side to side.  C'mon guys, you're not helping me!

Kids and holes

What is it about holes that kids have to stick things into them... to include holes in their face!  I came home from dinner one evening to find the babysitter frantic.  The two boys, then aged 5 and 2, had stuffed their ears full of popcorn kernels!  It would take over an hour for my husband and I to carefully ease the seeds out of their ears. 

When my daughter was a toddler she got hold of a pony bead, which is about the size of a pea.  And yep, you guessed it, up the nose it goes!  Getting it out wasn't the hard part, keeping the child still long enough to safely extract it was!.  By the time I got it out I was covered with drool, snot and tears.... and it wasn't all from the baby!

We left the south and I thought we had all outgrown this facination with plugging holes... until about 9 months later we noticed that the oldest boy was having problems hearing.  I peered in his ears which seemed clean enough but insisted that I should try cleaning them out just in case.  The left ear came out clean, my boy had always been good about swabbing his ears after his shower.  When I tried to clean the right ear my boy howled.  I was surprised since I knew I hadn't inserted the Q-tip in very deep at all.  I tried again and again he hollered in pain.  I grabbed a flashlight and peered into the ear, and something reflected the light back at me.  I asked what he had put in his ear and he insisted that there was nothing in there.  Well, eyes don't lie so I made him lay down and I pulled out my tweezers.  In just a few seconds, amidst his pained protests, I pulled out a pencil cap, that had obviously been blocking his ear for quite a while!  How long you may wonder?  Well, I bought the decorative pencil for him just before we left our old home.... 9 months ago... and he had misplaced the very day he got it.  Thinking back he recalled that his ear was itchy and he had used the pencil to scratch at it.  9 months!

Now that was surely the last of it, right?  Wrong!  My middle son came up to me a few years later with an embarrassed look on his face.  It took a little prying but he finally told me what was bothering him.  He had been playing with a little calculator battery, one of those little flat round ones and had stuck it up his nose.  When he tried to get it out, it only went deeper into his nostril.  Out came theflashlight and sure enough, way in the back of his nose was a tiny silver battery.  Out came the tweezers, but by that time the battery was all slimy, and wedged into one of the nasal cavaties.  My husband had my son lay on the kitchen table and he tried to remove it but it was in good.  I could just imagine the looks we would get in the emergency room as we considered our options.  One more try and we were going to hang it up.  My husband moved in with the tweezers and in the process touched the sensitive side of the boy's inner nostril, triggering a sneeze.  Do it again!  I suggested.  2 sneezes later a snot-covered battery shot across the kitchen.  Mission accomplished!  That was the last 'gee, what would happen if I stick this up my nose' incident we've had... knock on wood!

Thinking back I know my baby sister had the same facination.  I remember her once sticking a red vitamin tablet up her nose and when her nose started running it looked like it was bleeding, which really freaked my mom out until she realized the real problem.  Later the same sister stuck a bean up her nose.  Being the caring older sister that I was, I informed her that a bean plant would grow out of her nose if she didn't get it out.  That sent her screaming to my oldest sister who saved her life by removing the bean before it could sprout roots.  To this day though I call my little sister 'Beenie'.

 

Bye bye Bunny

The little cottontail died over night.  My daughter found it this morning just before we were to leave for school.  Those poor kids have had it so rough here lately.  But they took such good care of the little creature while it was here.  I'm suspecting one of several things, he was injured from the dog bite worse than we thought (although with the exception for tenderness by the wound he showed no other signs of being hurt), his diet (not what he was raised on), or that he just wasn't meant to be out of the wild.  What ever the reason I do believe he was as comfortable as he could be all things considered and this was just the inevitible.  Try explaining that to a 9 and 12 year old!  Even I was crying!  I still got them to school on time, but I warned the school that they were upset.  Chalk this up to another lesson in life.  But you know what?  This one really hurts.

My Desk

They say you can tell a lot about people just by looking at the things they have on their desk.  Well, heres a little insight into 'Me'.

A Coca Cola Anniversary clock.

A Matchbox 1:43 Coca Cola 1967 GTO

A Matchbox Coca Cola  Diner and Delivery Truck Diarama

A Hardee's Coca Cola Snow Globe

A Coca Cola 1/2 gallon penny candy jar

A Coca Cola vintage art desk calendar

A Coca Cola bear sitting on top of a Coca Cola coozie

A pair of porcelain ferrets

Two kitchen fairies, one of them holding a pewter flintlock

A resin grizzley bear sitting at a computer (a gift I've owed a friend for over a year but haven't yet sent)

An old music box

An hour glass

A Precious Moment's pig-of-the-month for September

A smiley face solar bobble-head doll

A 'Wal*Mart Shopping Fund' bank (empty)

A Christmas ornament with Santa holding a shotgun and a duck flying overhead

A Christmas ornament from Pikes Peak with an elk, a humming bird and a snowflake

A porcelain figure of a little Eskimoe and a baby polar bear

A bobble head Hawaiian turtle

Okay, so what have you learned about me?  I like Coca Cola stuff, I work at Wal-Mart, I'm obsessed with time, my birthday is in September and I have this thing about guns and bobble heads!

GOT CARBS?

I'm not really sure what this whole 'low carb' craze is about, but if it means eatting my burger wrapped in a lettuce leaf instead of a bun then count me out!  GIVE ME THE CARBS MAN!  No bun?  Eatting a burger hot off the grill... with a fork and knife?  Now whats the fun in that?  And no fries?  No way!  I eat red meat, I eat bacon, I eat pasta and potatoes... Yes, I really do!  And milk... I drink 2% just because I drink so much of it.  None of that fat-free or sugar free stuff for me.  I want to taste what I'm eatting!  I love eggs... the whole egg and nothing but the egg!  No substitutes, thank-you very much.  I was raised on real food, as was my parents, and my parents parents, and their parents parents.  We've all lived very long and healthy lives.  But.... just in case, I do wash it down with a glass of red wine (or 2 or 3).

A real live dust bunny!

Okay, its not really a dust bunny, its a cotton tail, and a tiny one at that.  My daughter's friend took it away from their dog who apparently thought it was a chew toy.  There's no question of putting it back where the mama rabbit can find it, the dogs will devour it before that could ever happen... and there's the matter of a raw furless patch just above the tail that needs to be cleaned and taken care of to prevent infection.  The little guy is so calm and trusting and daggone cute.... the trick will be not getting too attached making releasing it back into the wild hard.  My husband suggested putting it on a spit and roasting it now... (yeah, sure, this is the guy that was trying to revive the hermit crab!)

Which brings to mind the Easter Bunny story!  (sorry, but this is a classic in my house!)

Its a well known fact that mine is a hunting family.  We hunt everything and anything that is in season.  One year my husband went rabbit hunting and brought home 2 cottontails which he laid on the garage floor until he was ready to clean them.  My daughters went out to see them, as they always do when my husband brings home game... and my youngest started crying hysterically. 

"Daddy killed the Easter Bunny!"

It took me a while to convince her that the Easter Bunny was fine and well, and these were just wild rabbits that we like to eat.  Well, that was good enough for her and things were quiet .... until Easter morning.  I had just started my new job overnights at the store and had to work Saturday night, which is when my husband and I normally did the Easter Baskets.  My husband wasn't too enthusiastic about doing it himself (5 kids!) so we decided that it could wait until I returned home the following morning.  I got off at 8 and when I got home my 3 youngest children met me at the door.  I was sadly informed that the Easter Bunny hadn't come.  Then my youngest started howling about how her daddy killed the Easter Bunny and that we ate it and that's why it didn't come.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Instead I gave them all big hugs and kisses, then went to my room, quickly packed the baskets and sneaked them onto each of the childrens' beds.  When I came back the family was already sitting around the breakfast table.  When we finished eating I wondered out loud if maybe the Easter Bunny was just a little confused because we had moved since last Easter... and maybe he didn't know where to leave the baskets.  I had the children go to their rooms, and very soon after squeals of delight filled the house.  I looked at my husband and whispered 'Shame on you for killing the Easter Bunny!', and finally got to laugh out loud and long.  We tell the story every year now at Easter.  One day the kids will tire of it, but I don't think I ever will.

Things to Do List

Today is over.... somewhat, and so I plan for my day off tomorrow.  It starts with me getting up at 6 am to get the kids off to school.  Then off to 2 meeting at work... I hate having to go in on my day off, but its paid for so its not too bad.  It also gets me off early towards the end of the week, even better yet!

I've been doing pretty good with the dishes so that doesn't even warrant a line on the list. ( No new mold strains or hybrids to document or catalog.)  The clean laundry pile is actually taller than the dirty laundry pile so I guess that will go on the top of the list.  I'm about ready to make those kids go nekked for a week just to make them appreciate their clothes a little more! 

Next on the list I think will be yard work, which is going to be rough with all that stinking pollen floating around.  I'll have to find a good website on yard work, its been a while since I've been out there in the wilderness.  The last time I worked in the yard I spent all day pulling out the dandilions... only to find out that my yard was then completely bare and I had to replant the dandilions just to make it look green again.  I had grass when I moved in 5 years ago, I think its just hiding under the dirt. 

Finally I think I'll work on the hot tub, you know, a little preventive maintenance... maybe scrubbing the seats and checking the temperature and jets... gotta make sure everything is still working.  And maybe I'll check to see if that little drink float really floats with a drink in it.  Hmmmmm, maybe I'll move the hot tub to the top of the list instead.  Yea, thats what I'll do!

 

Allergy Season

Well, its allergy season again.  I knew that without even having to look out the window.  I couldn't look out the window even if I wanted to.... my eyes are so swollen and red I can barely see.  I look like a splotchy red Yoda.  Come to think of it, I kind of sound like him too.  I'm so wired on allergy pills that I can't blink and I can hear EVERYTHING! I may actually get some sleep when winter sets in... ohhhh, in about 6 months from now. 

I never used to have allergy problems, not even in the south where the pine pollen was so thick it looked like yellow nuclear fallout.  My first year here it was so mild I thought it was a cold, but with each passing year it got worse and worse.  "Go to the Doctor" everyone says, but why?  They'll just tell me what it is I'm allergic to which really doesn't matter because its not like I can just stop breathing until it passes.  As for getting prescribed medicines, yeah, I can get the good stuff I'm sure, but its so much cheaper to get the lousy stuff over the counter.

A couple years ago I narrowed my allergy down to the lilac hedge we had in the back yard.  It was beautiful and we looked forward to its blooming every year, but my dear husband, in his effort to make me more comfortable, tore it out.  It immediately made a big difference.... my back yard is now ugly!  Breathing was easier too.  But now I'm struggling for breath again.  I'm surveying the neighborhood for more lilacs so my husband can go and pull them up along with that cherry tree next door. 

I'm kidding of course, the neighbors can keep their cherry tree.  They're just a bit bewildered as to why all the blooms on the tree suddenly disappeared one night.  The fact that it happened just before the trashmen picked up an unusual amount of yard and garden bags from my house was purely a coincidence.

 

The Lucky Bamboo Really Works!

Went to court yesterday morning.  My throat was sore and my body hurt.  I didn't sleep but maybe a wink or two... nerves no doubt.  They handle things a bit different in the city than they do in my town, so instead of walking in, accepting a plea, and walking out minus the fine a few minutes later it ended up being an hour and a half wait.  The charge for speeding was dropped to 'unsafe vehicle' which carried a 2 point penalty compared to the original 4 points.  For that I would wait!  By the time the judge got to my case my throat was so sore I could barely swallow.  All morning long the judge repeated the same dialog, changing only the name and the offense, barely even glancing up from his stack of files.  He read my charge and asked if I had read and agreed to the plea.  I leaned over to the microphone and agreed as I had practised over and over in my head... only this time my voice caught and all that came out was a very definate 'Ass!'.  If anyone was talking in the courtroom, they weren't now.  The judge shot me a look that dared me to repeat myself.  Horrified I cleared my throat.  Following his script the judge then asked if I understood the rights I was waiving by accepting the plea.  I cleared my throat again and forced the words out, but as before it merely squeaked out 'Ass Sir!'.  The beady eyes of the judge peirced me as he calculated whether or not my words were as intended.  I quickly glanced around the courtroom but the interpretor who had spoken for the Hispanic speeder was no where to be seen.  The judge continued to detail my fines but his eyes never left my face.  With a final 'Ank-uuuuu Ssssssssrrrrr'   I quickly stepped away from the podium and left the courtroom before the judge could change his mind. 

A glance at my watch indicated that I had been in there for 1 1/2 hours.  Unfortunately I had only put enough change in the parking meter for 33 minutes.  I prayed hoarsely as I hurried down the block to where the truck was parked, then slowed down when it came into sight, almost afraid to look for fear of seeing a pink parking ticket on the windshield.  But nothing!  I jumped in and took off before a cruiser could pass me, keeping a lookout for speed limit signs.  How I made it back to work without insident I don't know other than by the grace of my Maker and the Lucky Bamboo!

RIP, the death of a hermit crab.

Rip Van Winkle was a one-eyed hermit crab.  He was a crusty companion for my kids for about a year, along with his friend Houdini.  His little life passed on last night, laying cold and naked in his little oasis in the girls bedroom.  My 3 youngest children cried as hard as they would over a family member and their forlorn wails broke my heart.  This wasn't the first time a pet passed away, we've got a whole cemetary out behind the shed where our hamsters, another hermit crab and a hedgehog were laid to rest.  There were also numerous fish, but they took the water-way express to Fish Heaven via the toilet.

We discovered the shell-less crustacean shortly after returning from dinner out.  My husband tried to warm it up, but it was obvious that the creature had just died.  I went from child to child trying to comfort their grieving, but to no avail.  Their father stood there as if trying to will the crab to revive and end the heartbreak, but it did not.  I was so touched by the bewildered, helpless look on his face.  He was so used to fixing things and righting situations, but this one was out of his hands and there was nothing he could do at the time to ease his childrens' pain.  So he just stood there, blowing warm air on to the cold, lifeless body of the hermit crab.  I think I loved him just a little more at that instant.

The children have accepted the crab's death well now and insist that Houdini, the remaining crab, needs a companion.  So we will go out and get another hermit crab.  My husband wonders about the wisdom because he hated seeing the children so hurt over the death of their pet, but I see it as a lesson in life.  They have already had to deal with the untimely death of a very dear family friend and it devastated them.  Perhaps this will help them to cope with inevitible future heartaches.

Lucky Bamboo

I bought a lucky bamboo plant last week.  Its still alive.  I guess it really IS lucky!  I think I will take it with me when I go to court on the 14th for a speeding ticket.  I don't HAVE to go to court, I can pay the ticket by mail, but that would be admitting guilt and I would be automatically assessed 4 points (it was a really FAST speeding ticket!).  Not that I'm innocent, cos I really was speeding as the officer said I was.  I just didn't know that I was speeding.  I honestly thought it was a 35 miles per hour zone.  It was  35 down the street and around the corner.... and about 15 yards infront of where I was pulled over....  I must have blinked when I passed the 25 speed limit sign there by the corner because I never saw it, so when I was informed that I was speeding I said 'Huh uh!'.  And when he said I was going 38 mph I said... 'So?'.... and then he said 'In a 25 mph zone!'  And all I could say was 'Huh?  Where?'.  So I'm going to court to plead my stupidity.... I really thought I was only going 3 miles over the limit.  I can afford to pay the fine since my cell phone bill is under $1000 this month but  I really can't afford the 4 points on my license.... Hopefully the lucky bamboo will bring me luck... if it doesn't die on me before then.  Cross your fingers and wish me luck!

Spay or Neuter Your Socks!

Don't know what it is about socks but I never end up with the same number of socks after doing the laundry as I started out with.  I can wash a dozen pair and when I'm done folding the clothes I can have 8 matched pairs and 12 mismatches.  They multiply in the washer, thats the only thing I can think of.  Some get sucked down the drain, which will explain the water drain backing up from time to time.  And then all the illigetimate socks come out in the drying cycle.  I'd just as soon throw away the socks once they become dirty and replace them with new ones rather than go through the frustration of washing them and trying to find the mate to them.  I think that the sock manufacturer are in on this.... they must be making socks out of special material that disappears after so many washes, forcing us to constantly buy more socks.  And no matter if you buy the same brand, same size, same color...  they never match so you can't mix them up.  Its a conspiracy I say! 

The Cell Phone Bill

Got the phone bill yesterday.  It was only $119!  Now some folks may think, "thats kind of high...." but let me tell you, I've seen 'high' before, and $119 is no where close!  That T-Mobile commercial where the guy drops a huge package on the table so heavy that the leaf extention breaks... thats my phone bill.  In fact T-Mobile is my carrier so I suspect it really WAS my phone bill.  We had been mislead into thinking we had unlimited evening minutes on our contract when in fact the service was not available in our area at the time. (I had signed up with trainees who had misinterpreted the contract so I doubt it was intentional).  For the first 5 months it was okay because we had stayed within the alloted minutes for our 3 lines, but then my son got a girlfriend and BOOM!  $1200!  And that wasn't even for phone sex!  And do you know what the phone company did?  They immediately cut off and suspended my service, and disabled my online access account... and this was even before the bill was past due!  I was being treated like someone who had bounced a check or just refused to pay the bill.  I was so mad that I threatened to drop them, and they just smiled... I know they smiled, I could hear them smiling!.... and they informed me that it would cost $200 per line for early termination!  With 3 lines that would be $600.  I have finally paid off the charges and the phones are back in service, but I'll get back at them... I don't know how just yet, but I've got until December to think of something.  In the mean time I am just ecstatic over my $119 phone bill.