Monday, October 24, 2005

STUDYING FOR THE PEE TEST

URINALYSIS 101

With 5 kids, and several job interviews under my belt, I've had lots of experience with urinalysis tests.  You have to submit a certain level.  Not too little, not too much.  Too pale, they frown.  Too dark, they glare!  There is an art to it.  Drink lots of fluids.  There's nothing worse than not being able to 'void' once you get there, and if you don't reach the minimum fill line, guess what, you'll have to do it again.  And I don't mean to just keep going until you do reach the level.  I mean starting all over with an empty cup!  Dude, if I didn't have enough before, it ain't happening later.  Trust me, I ain't hoarding the stuff.  Just take the darn sample and be happy!

Okay, coffee is an easy prep but I personally don't recommend it for a couple of reasons.  First of all, chances are when you get there, you will have to wait (unless of course your bladder is empty, at which time they will almost always call you right away!).  After waiting for a while with two cups of coffee in your stomach, sitting becomes torture as the coffee makes its way through your system.  So you sit there, squirming in your seat, with your eyes watering and your ears ringing until you feel like you are going to burst so you jump up and run to the restroom just in the nick of time.  I can almost guarantee that as soon as you return to your seat, feeling all relieved, they will call your name.  Secondly, if you do manage to hold it, there's the little issue of what to do when you not only reach the minimum fill line but the maximum line as well, and its still coming!  Its not like you can turn the faucet off.

So... drink lots of fluids, but no coffee!  And what ever you do, don't attempt to fill up your gas tank before going to the clinic! 

11 comments:

cmarlow330 said...

lolololololololololol

princesssaurora said...

You are the best...so funny...see - that is why you got nominated!!

Be well,
Dawn

http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/
Poetry:
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/TouchofEmpathy/

heathyrxmarie said...

I know ALL about these!  They are a PITA, but worth it for the job!  :)  I used to have to take them in high school, too, to be allowed to drive to school my soph, jr &sr year!
Hugs,
xoxo
Heather

sdoscher458 said...

Only thing worse is that dam test they do when you are PG with the Huge needle and they make you drink till you are ready to burst! Sandi

cneinhorn said...

oh no!  I know the feeling...have fun on the job hunt

jackiebenice said...

haha yeah. when i had my pee test for the job i have now, i drank lots and lots and lots of soda, tea, water, everything i could lol it hurt so bad holding it, but this other girl ran to the bathroom and just as she got up..they called her name, but didnt see her, so she went anyways, and then they decided to call her name again, but when she came back, she didnt have to go.. that all stinks, but lucky for me i was able to hold it.

take care!

~jackie~
http://journals.aol.com/jackiebenice/blah/

astaryth said...

That's why I was soooo glad when we went to the swab the inside of your cheek method at Ringling. They do random checks, and would call you in at anytime of th day, so you don't know if/when you'll be getting it. When it was the UA test it was -such- a pain.
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind

dbp2000 said...

Jody:  Sounds like you really crammed for this test.  I heard you passed .... but they won't say what.

Donna

hestiahomeschool said...

Oh, good advice!!!  I am giving so many samples that I need to drink huge amounts of fluids...fun fun fun.

rjet33 said...

Oh what a sense of humor you have, Jody.  I had to have an abdominal ultrasound before.  They told me to fill my bladder before leaving home.  I had to sit and wait and wait and wait.  When I finally got to the table for the ultrasound, I was twitching and begging that woman to let me go to the bathroom.  She was angry at the front desk for telling me to do that before leaving home, but that did not help me any, did it?  I don't do coffee, so you don't have to worry 'bout that with me. ;-)

Blessings!~
Susan
http://journals.aol.com/rjet33/CountryLivingSouthernStyle

vortexgirl said...

I was going to ask what gas had to do a pee test but I have since changed my mind.  I'm to afraid to ask now.
Dianne