6:04 am

"mrrrrrrrrrp"

Through the fog of sleep I fumble for my cell phone, always close by in case my son Gabe tries to call from Iraq. Blurry eyes struggle to focus on the tiny screen. The digital clock reads 6:04 am. A little envelope and phone icon indicates that I have a text message.

1-800-Oompa1: Hey Mom

I try to remember how to spell 'hey', and numb fingers trip over the miniature keypad. Through crossed eyes I miss the [send] button and click on [delete] instead. I cuss and Dickidoo snorts in his sleep beside me. Did he just say 'quarter'?

1-800-Oompa1: Are you awake?

1-800-MOM: No, I'm texting in my sleep.

1-800-Oompa1: What's for breakfast?

1-800-MOM: Fingernails, boogers and spit.

1-800-Oompa1: Can I have lunch money?

1-800-MOM: No, eat left-over breakfast.

At times technology has it's merits, but not at 6:04 am, and certainly not for breakfast and lunch money. I spend way too much money on multiple cell phones on the family plan so I can keep track of my little army of Oompas... and the culprit for their existence... their father! I rarely have to call them, but I can almost guarantee that when I do need to contact them via the cell phone, they will not answer.

Except at 6:04 am, when the breakfast menu is in question.

"mrrrrrrrrrp"

1-800-Oompa2: Psst.

1-800-MOM: snoring!

1-800-Oompa2: lol. You should give me a ride to school.

1-800-MOM: No,I should stay in bed and sleep in.

1-800-Oompa: I'll make you a cup of coffee, you can have the last of the hazelnut creamer.

1-800-MOM: Start the truck, I'll be right out.

Yeah, technology sucks at 6:04 am. Especially when I didn't get home from work and into bed until 12:35 am! The moment Micro-Soft comes up with a mobile, electronic Mom I'm signing up for one, I don't care what it costs if it means that I can actually get more than 5 hours of sleep at night.

"mrrrrrrrrrp"

1-800-Oompa3: Mommy, I don't feel good.

1-800-MOM: What's wrong?

1-800-Oompa3: My throat hurts and I feel like I'm going to hurl.

1-800-MOM: Drink some hot tea. You'll be fine.

1-800-Oompa3: What if I barf?

1-800-Mom: I'll buy you some ice cream.

(1 hour later)

1-800-Oompa3: Mommy, you owe me some ice cream.