Wednesday, April 20, 2005

GPS, Global Potty Satellite?

I am wondering, is there some sort of GPS attached to my butt, a Global Positioning Sattelite device that sets off some kind of alert so my family knows the perfect time NOT to try to talk to me?  They'll wait until I'm mid-stream to knock and ask  'Are you busy?' or 'What are you doing?'  I will not digify those questions with an answer.  I'm sure the public has access to my location as well because thats when the phone or the doorbell will ring.  At first I'll try to ignore the interruption, but then I start thinking... hey, it might be important, or an emergency!  So I pinch off and hurry up, do a swipe 'n wipe, waddle out of the bathroom while trying to shimmy my drawers back up my legs, I fall over the bed and grab the phone.... just as the caller hangs up.  Hahaha!  Cute trick you stupid telemarketer!  I'll hobble back to my retreat and no sooner do I sit when the door bell chimes out.  The kids are around, I know they are because they were just in the room inquiring what I was doing.... but do they answer the door?  Of course not, so once again I'm doing the  'Hold on, I'm coming' dance and rush down stairs to answer the door.  The vacuum salesman is just starting to walk away.  He hurries back with a big smile, politely ignoring my gaping fly.   I just shake my head and swing the door shut.  I return to my duties, feeling my jeans to see if there really was a GPS unit concealed in a pocket because their timing is amazing. 

Never a moment's peace,  ever!  I don't want to talk to someone while they're relieving themself, why can't others respect my privacy and allow me the same dignity?  Just a couple of minutes.  The world will survive without my presence  while I 'refresh' myself.  Just a moment of silence, is that too much to ask?  Besides, that my Yahtzee time and I have a high score of 623 to beat!

3 comments:

purplectigger said...

Isn't that the way it goes. If someone wants me bad enough they will call back.
Hugs. R.C.

boombie02 said...

LMAO....that was a hilarious entry!!!
Love,
Mandy =)

hestiahomeschool said...

ahhh, the Eternal Quest to Poop in Peace....