Monday, March 6, 2006

CONQUERING MY FEARS... (or not!)

I don't consider myself to be fearless but I am very proud of how I conquered my fear of roller coasters during a visit to Disneyland two summers ago.  I do not let my fear of heights interfere with my hunting trips.  I distract myself from my fear of the dark by concentrating on the beauty of the night sky.  I'm a hunter for goodness sakes!  I've shared the woods with lions and tigers and bears, oh my!  (okay, maybe not tigers, but definitely mountain lions and bears).

But when it comes to spiders I am a weenie!  So I guess if I were to have the pooh scared out of me, what better place for it to happen then while I was sitting on the toilet!

It has always been my experience that when a spider comes too close for comfort all I would have to do would be to make a movement and the creepy crawler would scurry away in the opposite direction.  Well, that was not the case this evening.  In fact the arachnid actually ran closer.  So I pushed the little bathroom rug at it to shoo it away.  Again, all it did was to invite the bug to come closer. 

What's the absolute worst thing to happen while you're sitting on the toilet with your drawers down around your ankles.  'Seeing a spider?' you say?  'Nay' says I.  The absolute worst thing that can happen while you're sitting on the toilet with your drawers down around your ankles is to see a spider... and then to suddenly NOT see a spider!

Let me tell you, I totally freaked.  Not the screaming type of freaking out because I didn't want Dickidoo and the Oompas bursting in to the bathroom to find me standing on the toilet seat with the full moon shining brightly as I oogled frantically for the where abouts of my unwelcomed visitor.  No, I was silently hysterical.  I did a quick swipe-n-wipe, shook my pants out to make sure there was nothing else in them before I yanked them up and swoosh, I was out of that bathroom like a bat out of Hades. 

I don't even recall if I flushed but you know what?  I don't care!  Ewwwww!  I HATE spiders!  Please, oh please let that icky spider stay in the bathroom tonight.  And please oh please don't make me have to pee in the middle of the night.  I'll wet myself before going back in there tonight.

13 comments:

am4039 said...

I hate spiders and have been in the same position as you and let me tell you, I could not get out of there fast enough.

sdoscher458 said...

Me too, I hate spiders...the other day Joe calls me to take a look outside at something pretty...I'm thinking an early flower? NO!! It was a dam huge spider web right across my walkway.   Why he thought that was pretty...it had to go I wouldn't be able to even get my mail.   Never saw the spider that built something that large and you know what I don't want to either. Oh I know they are useful in nature, but let them do that away from me....yuck...Sandi

princesssaurora said...

Oh I know....spiders are the worst!!!!  I can't blame you!

Be well,
Dawn

xomywayox said...

LoLoL That chit is funny. I don't care who you are! Better you then me, cause I'd end up in the hosiptal!

Brenda

dpoem said...

HA!  I've so got you beat on this one.  My old apartment had an attic-access in the bathroom right above the toilet.  One Sunday morning, with the paper on my lap, I heard this wild scratching, and before I knew it, a squirrel fell from the ceiling and landed on me.  

Fortunately, I was in the perfect place to have the "you-know-what" scared out of me; however, the squirrel wasn't.  He lept from my lap into the bathtub.  Now, if you ever find yourself presented with the opportunity of watching a panicked squirrel try to escape from a bathtub, take it.  You will laugh yourself silly.  

deslily said...

gawd.. you haven't lived until you live in FLORIDA and find yourself sitting on da pot and spot not one but two..HUGE spiders..to add insult to injury they are in the bathtub and as the run around you can HEAR THEM!..  "full moon" or not I was out of there Waaaaay faster then you were!  I pulled up mydrawers and screamed for my (then:) teenage sons who came running.. "first one to come out of that bathroom with two DEAD SPIDER BODIES gets FIVE BUCKS!..  you never saw two teenagers run into a bathroom and close the door!!..  The spiders I was later told ran to safety down the tub drain!.. to which I went back in and put the water on scolding hot down the drain!!!...

Then there are sand spiders... aww never mind, you'd never believe it anyway!

dpoem said...

Heya Dorn!!!  I put a list of things which scare me in my blog.  I swear, they are far more terrifying than any ol' spider.  Stop by, and take a look, but be warned.  You may never be able to sleep again:

gotomaria said...

This is humorous!  Spiders are the worst...although I have to admit..I read somewhere that FLorida has baby alligators in their sewer system....that would not be a pretty picture.  Love the graphic too..very appropriate...pink toilet too..good color choice.
Maria

njmom72 said...

LOL!!! Oh honey I don't mean to laugh at your predicament, because Lord knows I would have the EXACT same reaction as you (I detest spiders), but the way you tell the story I can just picture the scene (with black bars strategically placed for modesty's sake hehe)! Did you ever find the creepy thing?

~ Susan

wumzels2 said...

fortunately for you dorn, you didn't have buggy bloomers.  once that bathroom spider thing happened to me and i accidently scooped that gigantuan up in my tidy whities and walked out of the bathroom with a stowaway.........which bit my buttocks and left a nasty little sore on my bare bottom.  even sorta made me sick, even though it was a common (nothing is common about spiders) house spider.  of course, the ultimate joy part of my story is that when i removed the undies, there was a nice rolled up dead spider in there.  too bad my large buttocks couldn't have smooshed it before it did any damage.

but where did you get that adorable pink potty with spider graphic???  that is tooooooooooo cute...........

the only thing i have to watch out for at the house where i live now is poop and pee left from three 'wee ones'.....and i use the wee loosely, lol.  one of them is 5, one is 6 and of course, the other is 14 and is learning "bad aim" very well.  and all three of them poop on the seat and leave it for a souvenir...........ewwwwwwwww.

bucky770 said...

FULL ***



DANG KEYBOARD lol

bucky770 said...

hahahahahaha

YOU JUST MADE ME SPIT WATER!


haha " YOUR FOOL MOON" lololololololo hahahahahahahahahahaha

hestiahomeschool said...

The guy who is teaching my girls pottery class got bitten by a brown recluse spider last month. He has a HOLE in his hand the size of a half dollar where the flesh rotted away. he had to spend a few days in the hospital...shudder...