Thursday, March 23, 2006

WHEN TOILETS ATTACK!

What I hate worse than public restrooms are public restrooms that have automatic flushers.  Those things have mind of their own.  Sometimes they flush, sometimes they don't.  It all depends on how they feel at the time.  The other day the toilet flushed as soon as I opened the door to go into the stall.  I guess there's a limit of one flush per entry because when I finished doing what I had to do, the dang thing wouldn't flush.  I opened and shut the door, I waved my hand in front of the sensor.  I even stepped out of the stall then stepped back in.  I finally had to resort to pushing the manual flush button.  Stupid machine.

And lets face it, it IS a machine.  Its 2006 and we have finally achieved technological greatness... we pee in a machine!  It wasn't that long ago that our ancestors were peeing in holes in the ground, but we have a motion activated machine to deposit our turds in!

Unfortunately it is the nature of machines to screw up.  I guess that by the time I entered the stall yesterday, that particular machine had just about its fill of gluteous maximuses planting themselves on it.  And half way through my session it apparently decided that I had been there long enough and that my time was up.  It flushed!  And not gently either.  It was like a deluge of water whirling and splashing, the force threatening to suck me in to the swirling abyss.  My bottom was soaked!  I felt like I had just shot with a fire hose disguised as a bidet.

And wouldn't you know, both rolls of toilet paper in the dispenser were empty.  I was obviously not the only victim of this vendictive contraption.  Cussing and fussing, I had to improvise with a crisp, abrasive toiletseat liner.  And yes, I had to push the manual flush button because I had already used my one flush.  You know, I could almost swear that I hear that dang toilet laughing as I exited the stall.  Did it say 'Next!' or was that just my imagination?

There is a  place for technology and the restroom isn't it!  Give me an old fashioned potty any day.... Please!  I want my Kohler back!

10 comments:

mutualaide said...

Me too!  I want old fashioned, quiet, wait til your done toilets!  It's bad enough when your rear end gets a wash, but when you stand to re-dress your rear and it goes off then your clothes get 'it' too!  

angel4ever9213 said...

I like em and i don't like em cuz when i have to u know the thing flushes like 2x when i am on it nd then sometimes when i leave but the good thing about the automatic toilets is if its a  little kid that goes in there at least it will flush when he/ she is done

mumma4evr said...

My son is terrified of the automatic flushers!!!  He would rather wet himsel fhtan use them....but don't tell him I told you!
Becky

lreilly29 said...

My nephew was going thru potty training and one day my sister and law took him to the store....they went to use the bathroom, the auto-flushers went off and terrified him.  He's 3 and a half now and still not potty trained because the poor kids traumatized by the toilet!!

princesssaurora said...

I have had that happen... it is NOT fun.

be well,
Dawn

sunnyside46 said...

there is still the bushes

am4039 said...

lol oh gross. I like automatic toilets because I don't have to touch them. I must say I have never ran across one like the one you went into.

cmarlow440 said...

OUCH thats gotta hurt Jo

Using a Tolit Seat Liner to wipe your " COOKIE"

lolololololololololololololol

sugar1337 said...

Just looking around journals and came across yours....I hate those flushers on toilets too, especially when they flush when you aren't done and then your butt gets wet....no fun there.  :)

jcbambi said...

Thanks ,
I needed that laugh.  I can just imajine myself or my children in that situation. Thanks for making my day !