Saturday, October 23, 2004

DISFUNCTIONAL DOMESTIC DIVA?

Fox News is looking for Domestic Divas.  No doubt they are searching for Suzy Homemaker and Martha Stewart protogees.  Why, because they have Better Homes and Gardens houses?  Because they can bake using metric measurements and can tell you the exact fat, calorie and carb count in every recipe they prepare in their Jenn Aire kitchen?  Because they have a nifty craft project for every season, holiday or hour of the day?  Because they have a garden is listed on the Rand McNally's Scenic Sites and Nature Parks map?  Okay, yeah, the answer is probably yes to all of those.

But here are a few reasons why I feel I am a Domestic Diva... in my own disfunctional way. 

* I am constantly cleaning, that is however not to say that I have a clean house as a result of this.  I have a messy family, and that is why I am constantly cleaning.

* I am a creative cook.  I could write a whole new volume on the wonders of Bisquick.  Did you know that if you toss a can of diced tomatoes and a can of mushroom stems and pieces into a jar of spaghetti sauce you can claim it as 'homemade'? I am constantly changing the ingredients to recipes to accomodate what I have in the cupboards.  Am I too lazy to go to the store... or am I gifted with creative adaptability?

* I don't have a tool for every job, there isn't enough storage space in my house for all of that.  I have a tool box in the garage.  A butter knife with double as a flat head screwdriver in a pinch, a fork is a handy make-shift whisk, and measuring spoons... why do they even make those, does anyone ever really use them?

* My garden is fortified by love and prayer.  I pray constantly for rain to keep the plants left over from the former tenant alive.  Birds had 'planted' a small patch of cosmos in my yard.  I watch them bloom with pride.  My dandilion patch didn't do too well this year, the neighbors must have picked theirs before they could bloom and scatter their seeds.  The grass in the lawn has thinned out sothere won't be any problem with over-crowding of the roots come spring.

* None of my appliances match.  My refrigerator and stove are stainless, my dishwasher is almond, my washer and dryer are white.  I have a hodge podge of brand names, Whirlpool, Hotpoint, GE.  I buy the best I can for the money I have. 

* I have a busy schedule, working full-time as a supervisor at a retail store, being a wife of 20 years, and a mother of 5, I am a hunter, an artist, a musician, a photographer, an amateur internet journalist and a professional procratinator. 

What else could you want from a Domestic Diva?

8 comments:

mzgoochi said...

You are the true Domestic Diva Dorn, we all know that. :O)

angieabk said...

You have my vote girlfriend!!!
angie

ladydriversammie said...

Sounds better than Martha Stewart to me, lol.  :)  Loving your 13 days of Halloween, by the way.

Sammie  :)

maxina3777 said...

I hope U don't at all take this offensivly, but I feel so bad 4 U right now. i got exhausted just reading this. Your very normal,,,whew. Girl I can only handle one kid, and my home is a mess, i feel sorry for myself, okay I don't sit around and mope about it anymore, no one cares to listen ; ) to me anyways LOL. I guess it would be easier 4 me if my husband was around, but he's %#(*^* so even when and if he comes home n gets out of the Navy, he knows I need him, so he will probably be a really mean jerk and take advantage of my situation. Anyway whew I think i'd be a lot like Martha Stwewart if I could only keep my home clean and organized, and I had tons of money...I am creative, I am always doing arts n crafts (I like to make things for Barie Dolls, stuff like that) I have so many hobbies, U would wonder how i ever get bored n depressed LOL.THisnis what i have to say to you, your normal, you've done a great job raising ur kids, look, ur daughter knows her stuff when it comes to things she wants to change in her school, & ur son has just joined the Military......I'm sure ur other kids are just as bright. Be happy, when ur kids are almost all grown n your grandkids are feeling ur house with laughter, you'll b able 2 relax, knowing U raised ur kids n now U get  2 enjoy theirs...

maxina3777 said...

OH BTW I think you should apply to FOX News, you would make a whole lot of other women feel like they're not the only ones!

greyhoundloner03 said...

We couldn't ask for anything else, sweetpea!

xoxoxo

globetrotter2u said...

You are one helluva domestic diva! I have read your journal and admired you from a distance for half a year at least! Anyone who graduates from Barnard or Boston College and/or has well-to do parents/and or husbands sure doesn't have to work too hard to  make it! (even though I truly admire Martha Stewart) Not to mention all the babes marrying a wall street guru/ or socially connected persona as well. When I look at women authors, artists and musicians that I admire...for the most part...they have all been privileged with money, education and/or good genes.
But it is people like yourself that I admire most, because it takes one helluva special woman to be an outstanding mother, wife (even to a dickido), boss, musician, artist, and so on and so on, when one was not born privileged or endowed with a private school/and or college education/and/ or wealthy family or husband to fall back on. You are incredibly intelligent and perceptive, yet I'd bet that you , like myself, may not have even graduated from college.
I hope you don't mind that I consider myself in the same genre as you, though it is rather unhumble of me to place myself thus, I suspect. Whatever..., I am working on a better self-image right now,  so I hope you won't take offense!
Here's to the underprivileged divas who make this world a place where our kids and husbands and friends want to be! yeah! Right on! US!

st0rmwhispers said...

Sounds like a day in the life........but I prefer Rosanne's expression..."Domestic Goddess". Its just more divine.