Thursday, August 12, 2004

BATTLE OF THE SEXES, Boobidoo vs. Dickidoo

Last night I was yawning by 10.  I should have gone to bed then, but no... silly me thought it was a good time to 'bond' with my husband.  So I shut down the computer which I had turned on to post my last entry and do a little reading after watching 'Hellboy' with the family.  I asked him about his homework, which had been neglected during the movie.  Things were going pleasantly until I mentioned how I was actually looking forward to 'retiring' in the spring.  That opened the door for the lecture from hades.  I sat there stubborning refusing to 'do everything' for the kids as he wanted, stating that I would get them on track and then teach them to take care of their rooms, the house (hahaha, thats a good one now but it wasn't then).  I was NOT quitting to become the maid. 

General comments became outright accusations and me, being me, wasn't going to have any of that.  But what really popped my cork was when he used my dinner bowl as an example, knowing full well that it was mine, he says that he was willing to put money on the fact that it would have remained there all night.  Now that was just not fair, I hadn't even gone back upstairs after eatting my dinner but I ALWAYS clear up my dishes.  His point, he said in a tone usually used on the kids, is what is the right thing to do?  That was it!  I jumped up, shared a little vocabulary with him and took off upstairs.

That was about the time the whole thing became a music-less country song.  I went straight to the bedroom, so angry I had tears pouring down my face.  I just wanted to run away and I had no place to go!  I needed to calm down and there was no place in this house of many rooms that I could call my own and hide away in.  My computer room is now my son's bedroom until he goes to bootcamp.  There was no way I was going to lay in THAT bed with HE WHO CAN DO NO WRONG, not with those vows from our wedding 20 years ago ringing fresh in my head...'til death do us part'.  Through my tears I looked down and there was the hatchet we had taken camping and never put away after unpacking the backpacks... That made me laugh despite it all, but I knew I had to get out of the room.

So I went to the dark livingroom and curled up like a crybaby on the oversized chair, pouting.  I heard him moving around downstairs, I heard the sound of his empty beer bottle from the night before being thrown away, evidence I could have used earlier but I was just too dang mad to play my cards... and then he brought up the kids dirty dishes.  I'm sure he thought they were all mine.  It makes me soooo mad that he thinks like that about me when he is the very one guilty of what he accuses me of.  I am guilty of dirty dishes in the kitchen.  And the laundry pile, I guess thats my job..... that pile on the side of my bed, definitely mine (can't deny that one), but I don't recall ever agreeing to absorb all of the kids faults as my own.  We both work, but somehow the house is also my responsibility and when he does something it is as a favor to me... huh?  I pulled out my marriage license.... theres nothing there about that.  In the back of my mind my little red conscience is whispering 'til death do us part', while the white conscience is beating her with the pitchfork screaming 'through good times and bad, ?itch!'

I lay there for hours, not realizing that I had slept until the cold woke me up.  When I went to the room, he was hogging the bed and snoring contentedly.  I shoved him over to his side.  I hate when he snores while I'm awake, especially when I'm mad at him.  I want him to be sleepless like me!  I guess I finally went back to sleep because when I opened my eyes he was gone.  There was no indication of a struggle so I know I didn't sleep walk or anything. 

A bowl... this was all over a dirty bowl.  I guess a dirty bowl has a shorter parking expiration time than an empty beer bottle.  That bowl was only on the bar for 2 hours.  The beer bottle sat on the table for 24 hours and that was okay.  I'll have to remember that.... its okay to leave beer bottles laying around.  Well, I guess I better get ready for work, and feed those little consciences of mine, they had a rough night.


apropst1 said...

I feel like that if I get a "real " job ,not being a stay at home Mom anymore then my dh  and I will not last.Almost all of his family are women who work and then come home and do all of the housework.I want to be a partner not a @#$% free maid.Stand your ground!Do you know how many women I know that thier dh are retired and they work and still do everything!?It makes me sick.My Mom never remarried and it drove people crazey.She was just so much happier alone,doing what she wanted when she wanted!
I am messier then my dh but since I am the only one that can clean it is none of his beezwax!When I was having my dd he could not even do the leftover dishes from that morning!I did not know I was going to be put in the hospital when I went to a drs apt-I will never understand men!
I hope you have a much better day!!

cathy0o0 said...

My husband makes it a point to tell me he did the dishes or washed some clothes, like i am supposed to thank him for it. I dont get it either. I dont know where it's written that i have to work and do all the cleaning and such at home to.
And they say woman are had to

gatorspictures said...

nah, you are SO RIGHT on this, dorn.
he can't point fingers (or anything else) when he does the same thing. bottles stink way worse than a dinner bowl the next day.
*unless you had tuna, mind you. c

andrea74albert76 said...

I think all men are like that I know mine leaves his glasses and soda cans everywhere but if I was to leave my plate for 10mins  all heck breaks out! hope today is better for you!  Andrea

purplectigger said...

MEN ! Sometimes they can be so stupid. Don't they know we control the world. Well, maybe we're not that important,but we are important to them. I know what you mean tho. I quit beating my head against the wall, ( so to speak ). My hubby is a slob and he always will be. The first time he says one work to me about not cleaning, he will hit the floor. lol
I hope today is better.

cneinhorn said...

It wasn't just over a bowl,
but that you are expected to
work, take care of the kids,
and the house......the stereotyping.....
and that's not fair......and there's nothing
worse than being soooooooooo upset
and there is a husband just snoring away, not
a care in the just want to wake
them up so they suffer too!  Well, I hope the saying
"what a difference a day makes!" is true for you, and
things are better when you get home.  Maybe it's time
for a little family talk, consisting of one sentance, short
but sweet: "from now on, everyone picks up their own
crap, or else!!!!"  I dunno, maybe the "or else" could mean
you will dump the crap on their beds or something unpleasant
like that....... ;-) hope things get better!

angieabk said...

It is lightning outside and my own version of dickiedoo is yelling at me to turn of the PC... just can't do it yet.  

I can't tell you how many times we've had this same argument.  When I was working... I got up at 4:30 was at work by 5:30 AM mind you AM and didn't get home until 4:30 or 5:00 pm.  He didn't leave the house until 8:30 or 9:00.  sometimes got home around 3:00.... YET the house was still my responsibility.  "I MOW THE LAWN AND KEEP THE CARS RUNNING!  WHO IS GOING TO DO THAT BESIDES ME>>> YOU?!?!"   You're darn right.  I do everything else.  Gosh, he mowed the lawn once a week and fixed cars once every 6 months.. maybe... that's why he couldn't do a load of laundry or a dish or two.

UNFAIR.  But I guess it's built into their DNA.. because of that thing they carry next to their jeans pockets they figure they don't have to help with the house.  UNFAIR.

Funny thing is... now that I don't work, he helps more than he ever did before.  Not much still... but more.

Men are so weird.

levi1023 said...

Speaking of the boobidoos, I had to tell you that you gave my mom a huge laugh! She's cough* 64, I didn't say that. My eveil twin typed that Mom I swear!

sunshine38585 said...

sorry u had such a rough night Dorn. Sounds like Dickidoo needs a reality check for sure!!! good luck girl.

hestiahomeschool said...

We really are sisters. My DH was a real turd last night about the laundry last night. He made me cry--and then made fun of my crying!!  I feel for you..