Wednesday, August 4, 2004

I spent the day at a meeting, and then it was right back on the Front End, taking care of customers.  After having Chicken Chow Mein for supper last night, and then the leftovers for breakfast, my gullet was bursting with fragrance!  Being the conscientious person that I am, I pinched off the urge until my shift was over.  I was able to maintain control until I got out to the truck, but then the flood gates were released and the heralds sounded.  I guiltily looked around to see if anyone had heard, but I was alone in the parking lot.  And it was at that time that I was glad that my wish as stated on my BLOGGERS ANONYMOUS Journal was not granted for I would have been surrounded by a rosy pink cloud!

 "Farts should be visable, so you can see them before you walk into a vapor cloud from one.  And they should be color coded so you know the bad ones from the really choke-you-so-you-can't-breath bad.  Farts happen, I know this, but if you could actually SEE the stink, then you'd have a chance of avoiding it.  If you turn down an aisle and see a red vapor cloud you'll know it was chili dogs, but the ailse beside it has a brown cloud which would indicate a worse olfactory rating coming from German beer and brats, so you can choose the lesser of the offenders.  And then the culprit of those vapors can't blame it on anyone else because that stink smoke would be trailing out their britches behind them!  I'm getting tired of people walking up after a fart-n-runner, and look at me like I might have had the indiscretion.  Besides, mommys don't fart, just ask my kids!  But if I did... it would be pink and smell like roses!"

11 comments:

purplectigger said...

You are so funny, but you are right.
Have a great day.
R.C.

mom23nca said...

My dog always knows who the culprit is, LOL!  Too bad you didn't let a "silent but deadly" in the meeting.  It would have been fun to put the blame on someone else. LOL

readmereadyou said...

I remember a saying as a kid about burping.....Better to bring it up now than to make a stink about it later.

: )

disq54 said...

Hi Dorn,Nice journal! I'm just now getting around it checking it out..lol sorry. Have a good day!

cneinhorn said...

Color coded farts.....ROFL......
Everyone in this family
blames the dog, no one
ever fesses up to it.....
jerseygirl
http://journals.aol.com/cneinhorn/WonderGirl

jlanca5866 said...

Too Funny!  LOL  Thank you for getting us to laugh at ourselves!!!  

belfastcowboy75 said...

Smell like roses? Like Rose's WHAT?

derasta said...

My husband does this at work at he calls it crop dusting..he lets a little loose as he walks thru the office...I told him to stop this bad habit....but oh well

beckieramos said...

LOLOL! That is so hilarious! My youngest daughter does some bombs that I think would be an angry orange! If she does them in the car, beware!!!

mzgoochi said...

In my house, farts are claimed with pride. LOL

moondawghouse said...

A fart with a PINK cloud??!! Come on!!! My own chili and Bud Light blasters leave a black mushroom cloud in the living room, then a gray vapor trail all the way to the bathroom down the hall!! LMAO!! Back before my dog died, she would get up and leave the room when she heard that ominous gut-rumbling!

I found your journal through Angie's  and you are one hilarious lady!! I'll be back (as Arnold, the Governator, said once)!

I invite you to check out my own journals.

Larry
http://journals.aol.com/moondawghouse/MOONDAWGSPARKINGLOT/