Sunday, August 15, 2004

I thought my husband reading my journal was the worst that could happen yesterday.  I later found out that while quietly on the computer he had read all of the entries since the beginning.  Okay, maybe he's a little upset that some of our troubles are online to the whole world.  Maybe he doesn't appreciate me calling him 'dickidoo' to my 'boobidoo'.  I just didn't want him getting freaky on me because my friend's husband actually started stalking her online.  This journal is my interpretation of my real life and I had nothing to hide,which I'm sure he discovered when he started a search on my screen name. So anyhow, I let him state his displeasure, and I defended my actions and that should have been that... 

But me, being me, couldn't leave well enough alone.  Folks, if you ever ask a question and the reply is 'Are you sure you want to know...?' back down immediately because that usually precedes bad news.  Don't say 'I NEED to know', cos after hearing it let me tell you, I certainly didn't NEED it!

So now my little rusty brain is trying to comprehend this whole information overload mess and figure out what I want to do about it.  I was happy in my little world of fuzzy ignorance, chasing my dust bunnies around with exadurated slow motion as the Hillside singers sang the Coca Cola song.  Somewhere along the way the dust bunnies have grown fangs, and the Hillside singers are spitting out some kind of gansta rap.  Welcome to my nightmare!

I've got a little first aid kit for the heart, it just contains 2 little words, nothing else.  No ointments or cream, no antiseptic, no bandaids or tape.  Just 2 little bitty powerful words.  I use them all the time, probably too many times which is why they no longer seem to work on him.  I guess he's built up an immunity like with antibiotics.  Me, I can't remember ever being treated with them.  Theres a myth going around about how they cause weakness and indicate fault so fewer and fewer people are using them nowdays.  Sad... think of all the lives that could be saved.  I'm sure they would work on me, I've not built up an immunity yet.  However with my luck I'll find out I'm allergic to them, but thats okay, I'd rather have a rash than a broken heart.

Yesterday was Rocky's 10th birthday and I promised her that we would camp out in the back yard.  It would be almost 2 hours before the kids finally quieted down and went to sleep.  That left me alone with the sad melody of the crickets.  And Art's Farts!  (hahahaha, you thought I was going to make it through this one without a pee/poop/fart/burp/snot reference.  Sorry folks, I may be a little depressed, but I'm still a whole lot of demented!  Thanks for all the kind wishes, hugs and thoughts.  They have helped more than you may ever know.

Love Dorn   

 

13 comments:

donah42 said...

Hang in there Dorn! I know the comfort of not knowing, but I still think it's better to know and take things from there. It will either make or break your relationship, but I have faith that you will be fine no matter what happens. You are a great woman and don't forget it!

phantasiadream said...

(((Dorn))) Hope things get better soon for you!
~ Tasia

cneinhorn said...

{{{{{{{Dorn}}}}}}}}
I'm so sorry.....hope
things get better soon....
if it's all out in the open now.....
maybe you can work from
there...
~jerseygirl

cathy0o0 said...

I think..(which is a hard thing for me to do) That the husband's get offended because they dont want to be confronted about their relationship's. As long as you dont bring it up everything is fine. They are happy even if your not. And if confronted with what you think is a problem,they get very defensive. In most cases when there is a problem the husband is the last to know. Simply because they wouldnt take the time to listen when you tryed to talk to them in the first place. My first husband was totally shocked that i had a problem with our marriage(even though i tried talking to him several times) until i wanted a divorce. Only then was he really ready to sit down and listen to me. But by then it was to late.
I hope he is not greatly offended by your journal. It's a way for you to vent without directly confronting him. He ought to be happy...lol

purplectigger said...

Keep your chin up, this to will pass. Men just have a harder time dealing with reality. You guys have been together to long for this to be a really big problem. I wish you well.
R.C.

mom23nca said...

Hang in there.  HOpe you both are able to work everything out.  {{{{}}}}

spurgins311 said...

I would be so mad if I caught someone reading my journal...I won't even let anyone see the one I have when I was a teenager and I am 54 now!  TRUE.
Take care,
Sharon

hestiahomeschool said...

I am here if you need me.

angieabk said...

Thinking of you
ang

gatorspictures said...

{{{{{{{dorn}}}}}}}}
your online buds are with you through this.... c

danielled1 said...

We're here for ya, hon :)

Danielle

ihavetea said...

sending good vibes your way...

mzgoochi said...

I wish I could say or do more (((((((Dorn)))))))

Lahoma