Sunday, August 29, 2004

NUTRITIONAL FACTS

I was real good with my healthy eatting today.  For breakfast I just had two cups of coffee.  I snagged the last of the Irish Cream creamer, so my husband only had one cup.... you snooze you lose!  For brunch, which is my first break at work... 11am... I had a muffin and a Yoplait Strawberry and Banana Yogourt Smoothie, which is better than that thing I had for breakfast the other day... but it still feels like snot.  And wouldn't you know, thats what I call it... strawberry snot!  Why? you ask... well, if strawberries had noses, that is what their snot would feel and taste like!  Makes sence to my co-workers and so thats what they call it now.  I don't think Dannon and Yoplait will be contacting me for any customer appreciation awards though.

So anyhow, I had one of those strawberry snot drinks and a muffin.  The label on the bottle said 'breakfast smoothie', and listed all of the vitamins, minerals and other nutrients on a neat little Nutrition Facts chart.  Just about everything was at least 25% of the DV (daily value).  Cool!  I could drink 4 of these and have everything my body required for the day!  Of course my ... regularity... would be a little... shall we say moist?  And it would probably smell like strawberries!  Good thing I grabbed a muffin!  We need to get a little fiber and roughage in there!  I started reading the package of the muffin as I ate it.  Servings = 2.  Huh?  The muffin was 2 servings?  What the heck, do they really thing someone intentially buys these muffins and says.... 'well, this should cover breakfast for 2 mornings!'  Heck no!  And I ain't sharing either!  Can you imagine going into a restaurant and ordering a muffin.... only to have them bring out just half a muffin, because that is what a single serving is?  Utterly ridiculous!

By that time I was mad, and I ripped the top off of my blueberry muffin... and everyone at the table started laughing at me.  Haven't they ever seen someone eatting a muffin the way a muffin was supposed to be eatten... top first?  And don't anyone even thing about taking my other serving!  I ate the whole fricken muffin (they make the calories look reasonable... 210... but thats PER SERVING!  I ate the whole muffin, which was 2 servings, so the muffin was 420 calories!  Agh!  I quit!

And now, here I am, safe at home at last.  My stomach is growling... I mean its really growling, as in MAD growling because all its had today was the stinkin' strawberry snot and 2 servings of blueberry muffin.  So I console it with a Corona Extra.  There are no nutrition facts printed on the bottle of Corona.  Imagine that!  Ahhhhh, life is good again!

7 comments:

mom23nca said...

I eat my muffins top first also.  

cneinhorn said...

yea but if you have your Corona with lemon or lime, you'll have some vitamins and therefore the beer becomes somewhat healthy.......LOL....straweberry snot......eww.....
~jerseygirl

hestiahomeschool said...

Did you ever see the Sinfeld where they tried to sell only the tops of the muffins?  No body really likes the stems anyway...

ladydriversammie said...

lmao at the muffin...I know serving sizes are smaller than what most people eat at one time, but with a muffin?  Like anyone would really eat it half at a time.  Why the hell don't they just make it smaller if it's larger than one serving?  Crazy.

Sammie  :)
http://journals.aol.com/ladydriversammie/MovinOn

angieabk said...

I love strawberry yogurt... But I don't think I'll ever think of it in the same way again...
angie

ann7inflorida said...

Nothing like a Corona to take the edge off! : )

sprite1229 said...

My goodness..how big WAS this muffin?