Tuesday, September 21, 2004

BUTT BUBBLES and the Great Pumpkin

Someone 'did it' while I was reading my mail this morning.  Both of my girls were standing behind me and they both giggled guiltily.  Then one left and the other yelled angrily as the smell rose to her nostrils.  I honestly thought she was the guilty party but apparently the one who fled was the one who fluffed.

'Didn't you hear the drum beat?' (I promised I wouldn't use names) she asked, holding her nose... 'It came from 'her!'. Drum beats?  Never quite heard that term used before.  I guess I should have stopped right there, but my interest was caught. 

'Oh yeah, thats what you hear when the fart bubbles come out and pop.... first they stick when you're walking and you have to walk all funny to shake them loose... but it never works so you have to jump up and down and squeeze your legs together and then apart... and you look all constipated as you're trying to get them out.  And when they pop they sound like a drum.  And all the gas that was trapped in the bubbles comes out and peeeee-eeewww!' 

That, people, was the definition of a fart.  I didn't make that up, that was from my sweet daughter who obviously knows quite a lot about the subject and is a fart-artist herself.  One day she's going to marry and have children of her own.  And I will have to live with THAT on my conscience!  Sorry world.

My husband rode the dirtbike to work today.  Its street legal so he's taking a safety course on Post which will permit him to ride it on the base.  He had to wear blaze orange and reflective tape on his vest.  And all this went over his jacket since its just on this side of 40 degrees outside right now.  I kid you not, he looked like the Great Pumpkin and I was tempted to cut out some black triangle eyes and a mouth to stick on him.  He just gave me that 'look' before driving away.  I just may have to do that anyway and slap them on him when he's not looking.... all in the spirit of the season!

4 comments:

mom23nca said...

Very funny about the drum beating.  WE always ask "Where's the duck?" when someone farts.

kimbellina1957 said...

WHEN SOMEONE FARTED AT OUR HOUSE, MY HUSBAND USED TO SAY, "DID YOU SEE THAT MOUSE ON THE HARLEY THAT JUST WENT AROUND THE CORNER"? THEN HE WOULD GO ON TO TALK ABOUT HOW THE HARLEY MUST HAVE HAD OPEN PIPES ON IT........LOL!!
YOUR DAUGHTERS SOUND LIKE THEY ARE SO FUNNY LIKE YOU ARE. THEY MUST HAVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR TO BE ANALYZING FARTS!!
KIM.

angieabk said...

You are obssessed with farts and Halloween.... am I wrong or halloween still a month and half away?

ang

sharkie412 said...

I will say that it is better to live with interesting people who have something to say than a boring person that has nothing good to say at all. Your girls sound like quite the pair. LOL